Monday, 23 March 2015

A lil Something

Just dropped by to say how very shameful it is of me to abandon my blog for this long.....Realness you shud be totally ashamed of yourself!!...I apologize...really I do..*inserts pity pity face smiley*

A lot of changes are happening with sorting out work and all and I have been up and about its craaazzzzzzy!! I haven't been able to have a breather...believe that.

Will get back 2 blogging before you know it.

Till my next post.....

Wednesday, 11 March 2015

My Neighbour Is A Vampire

So I've sort of been monitoring this guy 4 a while now before drawing my conclusion.

See ehhhhh....there are some nights I don't sleep heavily or Im awake watching a movie or reading a book till dawn thats how im able to notice this guy's routine..... just to clarify that im not a

Ok let's say they 'take light' around that kind 11pm...this my Neighbour (Tenant) is up within 5 seconds fiddling with his padlock and proceeds to turn on his Generator (Gen)...I hear him clearly cos my room faces his apartment.They then 'bring light' say 11:20pm...he is up within seconds again to change over and turn off the Gen.They take light again say 11:25pm...guy is up to put the Gen back this stage its quite understandable cos it isnt so late and all.
On some days NEPA will be 'dilly dallying'...taking and bringing light at about 30secs intervals...still this guy will be up to either change over/turn off or put the Gen back on....gaddamn!!...I mean who da hell does that?
This whole on and off of the Gen goes on through out the night till the morning....phewww!!
Ok now tell me when this guy actually closes his damn eyes to sleep at I have no other choice but to conclude that he is a VAMPIRE!

*Maybe he even sucks blood in the privacy of his apartment sef...who knows?*

Did I also mention that he has to walk a distance to where his Gen is?...*nods head*....yes u heard right.

*or could it be he's a sleep-walker?...mmmmmmmm.....ohhh I don't knowwwwww*

There are times when I listen out for other ppl's Gen to also come on at odd hours but nope!..only this Vampire is up and abt making trips 2 his Gen and back.
The guy sef surely isn't scared of the dark or the fact that one 'ojuju calabar' will even come and catch him on one of his wa oooooo!!
Any time I don't hear the familiar shuffling to turn on his Gen then I know the guy has traveled or slept out that day.

Another thing is how this guy even knows when they bring light in the first place while he is asleep...there is the sound of that siren that goes off wen they bring light but Gen noise usually muffles the siren sound and a person fast asleep will hardly hear it...
Or is it that he installed that bulb that comes on when there is light in his bedroom?...the thing tire me ooo!

Mehn....that guy is really something else sha...not sleeping at night must be affecting him big time during the day.

Or beta still he shud just employ a personal Generator guy 2 do the on/off thingy for him or have they invented an automatic sensor thing that detects when NEPA brings or takes light and automatically notifies the Gen to come on or go off...or am I just jonzing?....the thing is so annoying abeg!!

Till my next post..... 

Saturday, 7 March 2015

My Husband and Kids

The lady that I usually buy Chicken from thinks I'm married with kids and I neva correct her.....why shud i? ...buhahahaha...lordy lord!.

When I go 2 buy Full Frozen Chicken from her and ask her to leave the Chicken Waist 'whole' instead of cutting it into 2 pieces... she always smiles and teases me that 'mmmmmm madam... always taking care of Oga...this your Oga dey enjoy oo'... thats assuming that I leave the waist un-cut for my darling 'husband' per good wife tinz....*yimu*. 

She doesn't know that the Chicken Waist is my fav part of the chicken (including the bumbum ofcos) I always leave that part big and whole so that I can demolish it seeing as I love things meaty.........husband ko...husband ni...lmao

She then proceeds to ask after my kids and I always chuckle and say 'oh my babies are fine my dear'..lolz.......dont worry im not spoiling my market...i highly doubt a Chicken Seller is capable of hooking me up with an eligible man....abi? I just love the thrill of our conversation is all.

You would think the fact that Im never wearing a ring weneva she sees me wud give her a hint that I aint married... but I guess dats cos a lot of married ppl don't even bother with rings anyway esp on a Sunday morning running errands sharpily.........that reminds me.....I need to do a post on 'Sunday Morning Market tinz' soon...aaaaaahhhhhhh yes!  
When I go 2 buy wings at Chicken Republic or chops at any Fastfood and I order a lot, I usually pass a comment abt how my babies love wings and how they will so be a bother without their cakes or pies...all dat just 2 cover up the fact that the excess food I'm buying is really just for one person...lmao.....yeh yeh yeh....I'm guilty!!!. Its not like anyone cares to know oooo but its just my guilty 'conco' (conscience) on overdrive *covers face*...

Iv been told its good to claim what you this is me claiming a wonderful Husband and Kids ooooo abeg...

Till my next post.......

Friday, 6 March 2015

Let's Talk Politics

Let's NOT!!!.......

Politcs is a BORE for me I'm afraid!


Till my next post......

Thursday, 5 March 2015

Some Dark Skinned Ladies Seriously Need To Take A Chill Pill...

Let me bash Dark Skinned Ladies (DSL) for once since some of them are always quick to blab abt Light Skinned Ladies (LSL) and their feeling of being superior!

'Some' Dark Skinned Ladies always play the victims when it comes to skin preference. Me I see it the other way round.

I feel Light Skinned Ladies are the real victims here!....yeh you heard ryt!!

Everywhere you hear 'insecure' DSL moaning and sulking that guys prefer light skinned babes just cos of the colour of their skin blah blah blah...oh plsssssss....its getting real boring...yawnsssssssss...

Some DSL with crazy low self esteem go as far as saying the typical....' Oh all LSL bleach' or ' they wudnt even be pretty one bit if they were dark skinned'....gooosh!!...really?

Why do DSL turn up their noses at LSL and even go as far as bashing? Besides the fact that sum ignorant females bleach..there are still a lot of naturally light skinned ones who inherited the skin colour from their ancestors abeg...whose fault is dat??.*smh*

So DSL.... I say enough of trying 2 make urselves feel better by picking on LSL just bcos that's what ignorant men prefer...why not go ahead and bash the men then and leave LSL alone 4 goodness sake! 

What's the fuss abt DSL and LSL sef? I have seen the blackest of babes happily Spoken For without a care in the world.....

DSL abeg all your soppy..pity pity stories needs to STOP! Throw ur insecurities out the window...'Beauty isn't graded by Skin Colour' you hear?...make person hear word!

Which one is now the #TeamLightskin vs #TeamDarkSkin again??....very laughable...lmao *speak 2 the hands*


Till my next post.....

Tuesday, 3 March 2015

The Cat Fish Battle

See ehhhhh...I used to 'carry last' when it came to eating Catfish with other people at an Eat-Out....I'm not talking abt Catfish pepper soup ooooo...I'm talking grilled Catfish...the type they prepare at joints with chips and coleslaw wrapped in a foil.......yes that type.
But I can sha craze for that fish ehhhhh...chai!..especially the 'head'..all the soft bones and juicy-yummy-goodness cooked up in the fish head....chaiiiii...OMG!

Anywayzzzz...when i'm hanging out and there's a automatically means the Catfish ration will be shortened...the thing can like to so vex me ehhhh and since each person can't order a fish 2 him/herself cos one person can't finish a whole one...we have no choice but 2 share.

Before before I used to do 'ajeburra' a.k.a 'too much forming' when the sizzling fish arrives...I wud normally start by picking and nibbling on the chips (that was wen I was still a leaner)....before u say Jack...half the fish is gone and I end up eating absolutely nothing cos the other grubbidos have devoured everything....these ppl don't even pause to chew and swallow before digging in again..once they fill their mouths, their fingers are back in for the next take....mstchewwwww!!

On one of such occasions, one of the guys pulled me aside and whispered a handy advice to me on how to tackle this whole Cat fish debacle.....he said 'Realness sweetie...shy matter no dey when it concern fish ....no1 cares how seductive you look chewing on the chips or how long you pause in btwn takes....infact they are glad you aint shortening their ration my dear'.....

So my dear brethren those days are well behind me. I have thrown all caution 2 the damn wind and made away with my 'shyness' or is it 'buttiness'?.....mehn iv decided 2 always win me a Catfish battle o jare.

Once the fish arrives like this ehhhh...I mark my territory by sitting up and opening the fish to allow air enter and cool it off (cos its usually oh so sizzling hot)...while I'm in this act...I'm preventing the other grobbidos from touching that particular area. Once I'm done opening up the fish (in a matter of seconds ofcos)...the digging in starts...I do the '3 in 1'...that is combining the Fish, Chips and Coleslaw I sha make sure I eat 2 my satisfaction...fuck whoeva's watching...iv been slacking for 2 long... now is my time 2 shine!

Disassembling the Catfish head is the best part for me...sucking on all the juice and yumminess ehhhhhh....*shivers* damn yummy...mmmmmm.

P.s- i only battle with the fish head when im in the midst of trusted certain kind of people. People i know are not capable of pouring sand sand in my garri....those that are used to taking my embarrassments and vice versa....u get me??

Till my next post..........

Sunday, 1 March 2015

My Beef with the Almighty 'Red Velvet Cake'

I don't know if you know this by now but Google is my BFF (Best Friends Forever), Best Buddy...Bestie...yeh we roll like that!

Why am I claiming Google? Bcos its just so efficient and it made getting proof for this my beef sooooo easy.

See ehhhhh, Iv always wandered what makes Red Velvet Cakes (RVC) so special that it makes Aa lot of people go gaga

Don't get me wrong, I love cakes....any kind actually, as long as it doesn't have those annoying Raisins or Fresh Fruits in/on them......Raisins are so are Mince Pies! *shudders* 

So i decided to google RVC recipe and compared at least 10 of them to find out what could possibly make RVC so distinct in taste from any plain o'l cake. The recipe was the usual cake ingredients..flour, eggs, milk, sugar...blah blah surprises there.. 

And then there's the 'Red colouring'!

Ok now I noticed the mixture of 'Cocoa Powder' and 'Vanilla flavour' in some recipes but that surely doesnt still restrict such a combination to just the RVC cos anyone can easily combined the Cocoa Powder and Vanilla without adding the red colouring and it wud still taste just like the RVC since the 'Red olouring' has NO taste!.........Shey u guys get me?

Its just like using a Pink or Blue colouring in cake batter and calling it 'Pink Turnup cake' or 'Blue bae cake'...the only remarkable difference being the colours while they both taste exactly the same.
People make it seem like there's a distinct taste assigned to just RVCs. Cake colourings arnt 'flavours' so they have NO taste unlike Chocolate or Strawberry flavours for example which actually have distinct tastes. Since there's no such thing as a 'Red Velvet Flavour' then wat makes it unique besides the colour?........grrrrrrrrhhhhhhhhh!! 

It just confuses me joor! One wud think there was some kind of Red Stuff like a fruit or vegetable that provides its tastes like a Tomato or Beet Root....

Finally, RVC is just cake with a 'Red colour' and there's the cream frosting which can be used on any other kind of cake.

Ok, is it the 'velvety' look of the cake?....but all cakes look velvety anyway regardless of its colour....*rolling my eyes*

Till my next post.......