tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-40250876540630432122024-02-08T08:35:32.572-08:00Realness is meMy life as it is.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07642535202181822107noreply@blogger.comBlogger47125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4025087654063043212.post-2812614388535325252015-03-23T03:58:00.001-07:002015-03-23T03:58:45.087-07:00A lil Something<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Just dropped by to say how very shameful it is of me to abandon my blog for this long.....Realness you shud be totally ashamed of yourself!!...I apologize...really I do..*inserts pity pity face smiley*<div>
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A lot of changes are happening with sorting out work and all and I have been up and about its craaazzzzzzy!! I haven't been able to have a breather...believe that.</div>
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Will get back 2 blogging before you know it.</div>
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Till my next post.....</div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07642535202181822107noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4025087654063043212.post-59333042572525218572015-03-11T01:13:00.000-07:002015-03-11T04:59:51.803-07:00My Neighbour Is A Vampire<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
So I've sort of been monitoring this guy 4 a while now before drawing my conclusion.<br />
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See ehhhhh....there are some nights I don't sleep heavily or Im awake watching a movie or reading a book till dawn thats how im able to notice this guy's routine..... just to clarify that im not a stalker..lol<br />
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Ok let's say they <em>'take light'</em> around <em>that kind</em> 11pm...this my Neighbour (Tenant) is up within 5 seconds fiddling with his padlock and proceeds to turn on his Generator (Gen)...I hear him clearly cos my room faces his apartment.They then <em>'bring light'</em> say 11:20pm...he is up within seconds again to <em>change over</em> and <em>turn off</em> the Gen.They<em> take light</em> again say 11:25pm...guy is up to put the Gen back on.....at this stage its quite understandable cos it isnt so late and all.<br />
On some days NEPA will be<em> 'dilly dallying'</em>...<em>taking</em> and <em>bringing</em> light at about 30secs intervals...still this guy will be up to either<em> </em>change over/turn off or put the Gen back on....<em>gaddamn!!...</em>I mean who <em>da hell</em> does that?<br />
This whole on and off of the Gen goes on through out the night till the morning....<em>phewww!!</em><br />
Ok now tell me when this guy actually closes his <em>damn</em> eyes to sleep at night....so I have no other choice but to conclude that he is a <strong>VAMPIRE!</strong><br />
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<em>*Maybe he even sucks blood in the privacy of his apartment sef...who knows?*</em><br />
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Did I also mention that he has to walk a distance to where his Gen is?...*nods head*....yes u heard right.<br />
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<em>*or could it be he's a sleep-walker?...mmmmmmmm.....ohhh I don't knowwwwww*</em><br />
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There are times when I listen out for other ppl's Gen to also come on at odd hours but nope!..only this Vampire is up and abt making trips 2 his Gen and back.<br />
The guy sef surely isn't scared of the dark or the fact that one <em>'ojuju calabar'</em> will even come and catch him on one of his trips....<em>na wa oooooo!!</em><br />
Any time I don't hear the familiar shuffling to turn on his Gen then I know the guy has traveled or slept out that day.<br />
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Another thing is how this guy even knows when they <em>bring light</em> in the first place while he is asleep...there is the sound of that siren that goes off wen they <em>bring light</em> but Gen noise usually muffles the siren sound and a person fast asleep will hardly hear it...<br />
Or is it that he installed that <em>bulb</em> that comes on when there is light in his bedroom?...<em>the thing tire me ooo!</em><br />
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<em>Mehn</em>....that guy is really something else <em>sha</em>...not sleeping at night must be affecting him big time during the day.<br />
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Or beta still he shud just employ a personal Generator guy 2 do the on/off thingy for him or have they invented an automatic sensor thing that detects when NEPA <em>brings or takes light</em> and automatically notifies the Gen to come on or go off...or am I just <em>jonzing?....</em>the thing is so annoying abeg!!<br />
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Till my next post..... </div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07642535202181822107noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4025087654063043212.post-48750567761743397352015-03-07T11:52:00.001-08:002015-03-11T00:49:24.128-07:00My Husband and Kids<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
The lady that I usually buy Chicken from thinks I'm married with kids and I neva correct her.....why shud i? ...buhahahaha...<em>lordy lord!.</em><br />
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When I go 2 buy Full Frozen Chicken from her and ask her to leave the <em>Chicken Waist</em> 'whole' instead of cutting it into 2 pieces... she always smiles and teases me that<em> 'mmmmmm madam... always taking care of Oga...this your Oga dey enjoy oo'</em>... thats assuming that I leave the waist un-cut for my darling 'husband'...<em>as per</em> good wife tinz<em>....*yimu*.</em> </div>
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She doesn't know that the Chicken Waist is my fav part of the chicken (including the <em>bumbum</em> ofcos)...so I always leave that part <em>big and whole</em> so that I can demolish it seeing as I love things <a href="http://realnessisme.blogspot.com/2015/01/my-name-is-realness-and-im-addict.html" target="_blank">meaty</a>.........<em>husband ko...husband ni</em>...lmao</div>
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She then proceeds to ask after my kids and I always chuckle and say <em>'oh my babies are fine my dear'</em>..lolz.......dont worry im not spoiling <em>my market</em>...i highly doubt a Chicken Seller is capable of hooking me up with an eligible man....abi? I just love the thrill of our conversation is all.<br />
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You would think the fact that Im never wearing a ring weneva she sees me wud give her a hint that I aint married... but I guess dats cos a lot of married ppl don't even bother with rings anyway esp on a Sunday morning running errands <em>sharpily</em>.........that reminds me.....I need to do a post on <em><strong>'Sunday Morning Market tinz'</strong></em> soon...aaaaaahhhhhhh yes! </div>
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Anwayzzzzz.......</div>
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When I go 2 buy wings at Chicken Republic or chops at any Fastfood and I order a lot, I usually pass a comment abt how <em>my babies love wings and how they will so be a bother without their cakes or pies</em>...all dat just 2 cover up the fact that the excess food I'm buying is really just for one person...lmao.....<em>yeh yeh yeh</em>....I'm guilty!!!. Its not like anyone cares to know oooo but its just my guilty<em> 'conco'</em> (conscience) on overdrive *covers face*...</div>
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Iv been told its good to claim what you want...so this is me claiming a wonderful Husband and Kids ooooo abeg...</div>
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Till my next post.......</div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07642535202181822107noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4025087654063043212.post-5212989813237753092015-03-06T03:03:00.002-08:002015-03-06T03:03:43.529-08:00Let's Talk Politics <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Let's NOT!!!.......<br />
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Politcs is a BORE for me I'm afraid!<br />
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*SnoozeFest*......*snoring*<br />
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Till my next post......</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07642535202181822107noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4025087654063043212.post-76215987536352907292015-03-05T07:06:00.000-08:002015-03-05T07:08:49.964-08:00Some Dark Skinned Ladies Seriously Need To Take A Chill Pill...<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Let me bash <strong><em>Dark Skinned Ladies (DSL)</em></strong> for once since some of them are always quick to blab abt <strong><em>Light Skinned Ladies (LSL)</em></strong> and their feeling of being superior!<br />
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'Some' Dark Skinned Ladies always play the victims when it comes to skin preference. Me I see it the other way round.</div>
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<em><strong>I feel Light Skinned Ladies are the real victims here!....yeh you heard ryt!!</strong></em></div>
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Everywhere you hear <strong><em>'insecure'</em></strong> DSL moaning and sulking that guys prefer light skinned babes just cos of the colour of their skin <em>blah blah blah</em>...oh plsssssss....its getting real boring<em>...yawnsssssssss</em>...</div>
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Some DSL with <em><strong>crazy low self esteem</strong></em> go as far as saying the typical....<strong><em>' Oh all LSL bleach'</em></strong> or ' <em><strong>they wudnt even be pretty one bit if they were dark skinned'</strong></em>....gooosh!!...really?</div>
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Why do DSL turn up their noses at LSL and even go as far as bashing? Besides the fact that sum ignorant females bleach..there are still a lot of naturally light skinned ones who inherited the skin colour from their ancestors abeg...whose fault is dat??.*smh*</div>
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So DSL.... I say enough of trying 2 make urselves feel better by picking on LSL just bcos that's what ignorant men prefer...why not go ahead and bash the men then and leave LSL alone 4 goodness sake! </div>
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What's the fuss abt DSL and LSL <em>sef</em>? I have seen the <em><strong>blackest</strong></em> of babes happily S<em>poken For</em> without a care in the world.....</div>
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DSL abeg all your <em>soppy</em>..<em>pity pity</em> stories needs to STOP! Throw ur insecurities out the window...<strong><em>'Beauty isn't graded by Skin Colour'</em></strong> you hear?...<em>make person hear word!</em></div>
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Which one is now the #TeamLightskin vs #TeamDarkSkin again??....very laughable...lmao *speak 2 the hands*</div>
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ENOUGH is ENOUGH!</div>
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Till my next post.....</div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07642535202181822107noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4025087654063043212.post-53981557040664215742015-03-03T13:30:00.002-08:002015-03-07T11:50:32.966-08:00The Cat Fish Battle<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
See ehhhhh...I used to 'carry last' when it came to eating Catfish with other people at an Eat-Out....I'm not talking abt Catfish pepper soup ooooo...I'm talking grilled Catfish...the type they prepare at joints with chips and coleslaw wrapped in a foil.......yes that type.<br />
But I can <em>sha</em> craze for that fish <em>ehhhhh...chai!</em>..especially the 'head'..all the soft bones and juicy-yummy-goodness cooked up in the fish head....<em>chaiiiii</em>...OMG!<br />
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Anywayzzzz...when i'm hanging out and there's a group...it automatically means the Catfish ration will be shortened...the thing <em>can like</em> to so vex me <em>ehhhh</em> and since each person can't order a fish 2 him/herself cos one person can't finish a whole one...we have no choice but 2 share.<br />
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<em>Before before</em> I used to do '<em>ajeburra</em>' a.k.a <em>'too much forming'</em> when the sizzling fish arrives...I wud normally start by picking and nibbling on the chips (that was wen I was still a leaner)....before u say <em>Jack</em>...half the fish is gone and I end up eating absolutely nothing cos the other <em>grubbidos</em> have devoured everything....these ppl don't even pause to chew and swallow before digging in again..once they fill their mouths, their fingers are back in for the next take....<em>mstchewwwww</em>!!<br />
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On one of such occasions, one of the guys pulled me aside and whispered a handy advice to me on how to tackle this whole <em>Cat fish debacle</em>.....he said <em>'Realness sweetie...shy matter no dey when it concern fish ....no1 cares how seductive you look chewing on the chips or how long you pause in btwn takes....infact they are glad you aint shortening their ration my dear'.....</em><br />
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So my dear brethren those days are well behind me. I have thrown all caution 2 the damn wind and made away with my <em>'shyness</em>' or is it <em>'buttiness'?</em>.....<em>mehn</em> iv decided 2 always win me a Catfish battle <em>o jare</em>.<br />
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Once the fish arrives like this <em>ehhhh</em>...I mark my territory by sitting up and opening the fish to allow air enter and cool it off (cos its usually oh so sizzling hot)...while I'm in this act...I'm preventing the other <em>grobbidos</em> from touching that particular area. Once I'm done opening up the fish (in a matter of seconds ofcos)...the digging in starts...I do the '3 in 1'...that is combining the Fish, Chips and Coleslaw 2geda...lol......... I <em>sha</em> make sure I eat 2 my satisfaction...<em>fuck</em> whoeva's watching...iv been slacking for 2 long... now is my time 2 shine!<br />
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Disassembling the <em>Catfish head</em> is the best part for me...sucking on all the juice and yumminess <em>ehhhhhh</em>....*shivers*....so damn yummy...mmmmmm.<br />
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P.s- i only battle with the fish head when im in the midst of <em>trusted certain kind of people</em>. People i know are not capable of pouring<em> sand sand</em> in my garri....those that are used to taking my embarrassments and vice versa....u get me??<br />
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Till my next post..........</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07642535202181822107noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4025087654063043212.post-20651972217272987042015-03-01T05:37:00.000-08:002015-03-01T05:37:18.203-08:00My Beef with the Almighty 'Red Velvet Cake'<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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I don't know if you know this by now but Google is my BFF (Best Friends Forever), Best Buddy...Bestie...<em>yeh we roll like that!</em></div>
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Why am I claiming Google? Bcos its just so efficient and it made getting proof for this my <em>beef</em> sooooo easy.</div>
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See <em>ehhhhh</em>, Iv always wandered what makes Red Velvet Cakes (RVC) so special that it makes Aa lot of people go <em>gaga</em>. </div>
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Don't get me wrong, I love cakes....any kind actually, as long as it doesn't have those annoying Raisins or Fresh Fruits in/on them......Raisins are so yuuucccckkkyy...so are Mince Pies! *shudders* </div>
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So i decided to google RVC recipe and compared at least 10 of them to find out what could possibly make RVC so distinct in taste from any <em>plain o'l cake</em>. The recipe was the usual cake ingredients..flour, eggs, milk, sugar...<em>blah blah blah</em>....no surprises there.. </div>
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And then there's the 'Red colouring'!</div>
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Ok now I noticed the mixture of 'Cocoa Powder' and 'Vanilla flavour' in some recipes but that surely doesnt still restrict such a combination to just the RVC cos anyone can easily combined the Cocoa Powder and Vanilla without adding the red colouring and it wud still taste just like the RVC since the 'Red olouring' has NO taste!.........<em>Shey u guys get me</em>?</div>
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Its just like using a Pink or Blue colouring in cake batter and calling it <em>'Pink Turnup cake'</em> or <em>'Blue bae cake'</em>...the only remarkable difference being the colours while they both taste exactly the same.</div>
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People make it seem like there's a distinct taste assigned to just RVCs. Cake colourings arnt 'flavours' so they have NO taste unlike Chocolate or Strawberry flavours for example which actually have distinct tastes. Since there's no such thing as a 'Red Velvet Flavour' then wat makes it unique besides the colour?........<em>grrrrrrrrhhhhhhhhh!!</em> </div>
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It just confuses me <em>joor</em>! One wud think there was some kind of Red Stuff like a fruit or vegetable that provides its tastes like a Tomato or Beet Root....</div>
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Finally, RVC is just cake with a 'Red colour' and there's the cream frosting which can be used on any other kind of cake.</div>
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Ok, is it the 'velvety' look of the cake?....but all cakes look velvety anyway regardless of its colour....*rolling my eyes*</div>
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Till my next post.......</div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07642535202181822107noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4025087654063043212.post-41455237963586724092015-02-28T03:02:00.000-08:002015-03-01T01:03:22.527-08:00OMG....You will never guess who called me last nyt....NO WAY!!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
People from my past crawling back one by one in2 my life....mmmmmmm....woooow!!.. <br />
1st the<a href="http://realnessisme.blogspot.com/2015/02/the-houseboy.html" target="_blank"> houseboy</a>......now this guy!!!<br />
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So I was chilling in my bed last nyt enjoying my 'me time' as usual and all of a sudden my phone rings. It was an international number from a country I once lived in. So I pick up and I'm like 'hello'...the caller says 'hello this is *inserts name*...I immediately went in2 shock mood....I was like 'which *inserts name* is this'?.. and by then I already recognized the voice.<br />
As if by default I hung up..........<br />
My phone rang again....<br />
Me: hello<br />
Caller: Hello its *inserts name*..<br />
Me: oh network issues...sorry<br />
Caller: no problem..<br />
Me: woooooooooooooooooow....watsup? been a while! How r u? How did u get my number?<br />
He went on to explain that he collected it from a mutual friend of ours who he ran into. We exchanged the hellos and did a lil catching up. Well all in all he said that he was coming 2 Naija and thot we shud hook up since he will be in my town for a while. So I'm like '<em>ooooooookkkkkkkk'</em>! *side eye*...so totally weird!!<br />
Its been like wat? 7yrs or so? And dis nigga just calls like we last saw yesterday....OMG!!<br />
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I'm still in shock you know cos I decided 2 bring this guys's matter here wen I started this blog and he JUST decided 2 call out of the blues...just like dat? *screams*. Now who wud have thot?<br />
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I doubt I'll hook up like he says wen he comes 2 naija....I don't know...I'll keep it open....hold up now....hold up....no way in hell am I going 2 have 'anything' to do with<a href="http://realnessisme.blogspot.com/2014/12/how-i-lost-my-virginity.html" target="_blank"> a dumbass that disvirgined me without knowing</a>....Oh Hell Noooo!!<br />
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I think I'm going to ask him the 'almighty question'.....<strong><em>if he is aware that he disvirgined me or not</em></strong>..... I just feel like I need closure on that issue...<em>lmao</em>...I don't want to be assuming <em>jooor</em>...I'll just point blank drop the question on him..thats if I have the <em>liver</em>...lol<br />
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I'll let u guys know how it all goes down <em>sha</em>...<br />
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Till my next post....</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07642535202181822107noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4025087654063043212.post-79407889703260286392015-02-26T10:05:00.000-08:002015-03-04T03:43:09.048-08:00The Houseboy<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
I just ran in2 a guy I met about a couple of years ago or so and I just had 2 share his story with u guys.<br />
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Story story...storyyyyyyyyyyy....</div>
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So I was at <em><strong>Slot</strong></em> that year 2 get my phone repaired (can I mention how <em>Slot</em> charges crazy prices 2 repair phones which will most likely scatter the next day and when you take it back they request for more money.....<em>bloody thieves</em>!) </div>
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Anywayszzzz, this guy who I noticed kept staring at me decided 2 finally approach me on my way out.</div>
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Just by the look of him, I could tell he was some kind of a Gym fanatic...he had rock-hard biceps, thick <em>superman-neck</em>...lol and I could tell some <em>6 pacs</em> were hidden somewhere underneath his shirt...he was dark skinned and abt my height or a few inches shorter. I was really impressed and all. He asked 4 my number and begged 2 call me the next day after work.</div>
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After work the next day he called and asked to take me out for a drink and I said ok. He said he wud pick me up at a certain spot and described the car he was in...a black Range Rover....in my mind I'm like <em>okkkkk.....nice 'bod', cool and a nice ride 2 go with it...not bad at all!</em> (1st time we met I didn't see him in any <em>ride</em> cos I had to leave before him). </div>
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So I get 2 the spot...saw the ride as described and made my way 2 the passenger's side only 2 see this guy on the passenger seat with another <em>macho hunky</em> guy seated in the driver's seat. I just <em>jejely</em> retreated 2 the back seat. <em>Did I mention how I hate when a guy brings a Tag-Along (TA) on a 1st date? Grrrhhhhh...so annoying!!</em> Not just any TA but one that owns the ride used 4 the date! It means that the TA can decide 2 leave with his ride at anytime during the date and my date and I will have to trek or jump bike or bus, keke or he might just have to give me a piggy back ride when its time 2 leave..*smh*.</div>
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I wasn't impressed one bit....but I took a deep breath and continued with the date. Now this TA was very good looking and smelt of money. My date was kinda quiet through out the ride and the TA was the talkative one, chatting me up and even flirting. It was really a weird situation 2 say the least. </div>
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TA was the one that decided where we went to for drinks and you could tell he was the <em>nigga 'incharge'</em>.. as in <em>Oga tinz</em>!</div>
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We get to the spot and guess wat? My <em>mumu</em> of a date ran off to adjust our table in such a way that it wud suit us while the TA stood aside playing with his Iphone... my date then pulled out TA's chair for him to sit, handed him the menu when the waiter brought it and let TA decide what we were having. The guy didn't even pull my chair out for me to sit......can u imagine??? Even a dummy would know by now that my date was a <strong><em>HOUSEBOY</em></strong>! </div>
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This was totally new to me cos normally, I always date the BOSS not the houseboy....I'm used to the house boys tagging along and attending to all my needs while the Boss pampers me and all.....but in this situation, I felt like the <em>'Gateman's wife'</em>....<em>chai!!....</em>my life! *smh*</div>
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As if the embarrassment wasn't enough, when the drinks arrived my date sharpily stood up to open drinks, he didn't even open mine 1st, he picked up TA's and opened it and to my greatest surprise proceeded to pour out TA's beer for him into a glass cup b4 handing it over to him.....<em>OMG!! *shiverrrrrsssss*</em></div>
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I just sat in amazement and looked on........ </div>
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Through out this date TA would send my date 2 the car or 2 get the waiter or some random errand like dat<em>....I even started thinking that maybe my date brought me as a prize token for TA</em> bcos TA was trying 2 have a full blown conversation with me while my date quietly sat back...<em>buhahaahhahaha</em>...I can't deal.........lmao.........seriously???</div>
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Well I endured it cos hell I needed the free drinks and a bit of relaxation after a long day at work.... <em>know-amin</em>??</div>
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So that date ended there and then.......<em>phewww</em>....</div>
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Fast forward to 2day, I was about to enter a shop I normally buy Philippine series from and a guy in a ride was hollering at me, I turned and he pointed for me to please come...not wanting to be rude cos ppl were everywhere....I made my way to the ride cos I thought it might be one of my relatives or friends and the only way I wud really see the face in the car was if I go closer cos I'm short sighted and all. Did I mention that the person hollering at me was in d back seat? Ok .......*not <em>OgaTinz</em> kinda back seat ooo*......</div>
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I approach the car and it was my former <em>mumu</em> date from way back when.....I pretended like I didn't know him and said hi...after much hesitation he said he would call me after they pack the car assuming I still remembered him from way back. I said ok and quickly switched off my fone and disappeared. <em>No way!</em></div>
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Ladies and gentlemen...the front seats of the car were occupied by none other than Mr TA himself and a babe........ with my <em>former date</em> at the back seat like a timid child...<em>TYPICAL!!!!</em></div>
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I'm sure he had to plead and beg TA before he even stopped the ride 2 holler at me in the first place.....lmao...as in <em>ehhhhhhh</em>!!</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
A <em><strong>houseboy</strong></em> that hasn't upgraded in almost 2years got no potentials in my book I'm afraid!!<br />
<br />
CAN NOT DEAL!!!!</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
P.s- this was supposed to be part of my <a href="http://realnessisme.blogspot.com/2014/12/awkward-dates.html" target="_blank">awkward dates</a> posts but I guess it skipped my mind!</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Till my next post........</div>
</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07642535202181822107noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4025087654063043212.post-19274366071106639892015-02-25T05:36:00.002-08:002015-03-01T04:35:45.086-08:00My 1st 'interview' experience......''The Americana''<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
I actually saw this one advertised in the 1st copy of<em><strong> the Guardian</strong></em> newspaper i'v ever bought in my entire life some weeks ago (I'm not a newspaper kinda girl)... It said something in the line of ''<strong><em>Customer service/Telemarkers wanted...to earn a starting salary of 90k per month. No experience required as training will be provided...come with a copy of your CV and the address was stated with a telephone number''</em></strong>...(a begger really has no choice abi?)... <br />
Now the Company name wasn't stated on the advert so I really had nothing to google...so I called one of the numbers attached and a lady picked up. I asked for the company name and she hesitated before saying I should just come in the next day between 10-12pm...I requested the company's name again and she mumbled something I didn't hear. I <em>sha</em> didn't want to persist and just made up my mind to go see what it was all about since I have previous Customer Service and telemarketing job experiences from my part time jobs selling <em>Double glazing</em> in the University.<br />
<div>
<br />
I picked out a nice top and skirt, polished my shoes, adjusted my CV to suit the position requested and reminded myself of the roles required for the position.</div>
<div>
<br />
I woke up bright and early the next day and off I went, all the while crossing my fingers and hoping it wasn't a waste of my time.</div>
<div>
<br />
Their office space was in some kind of Plaza outlet but everything seemed Ok on entering their allocation. I met about 6 other people seated and waiting for the same interview....I eyed my competitors and thought they <em>gat nada on me babey</em>! Nothing!</div>
<div>
I signed in and seated 2 wait my turn. As I sat, I immediately caught sight of fresh thighs in front of me...they were that of the receptionist. This babe wore a <em>gadamnnn</em> mini skirt with some razz top and heels....I was embarrassed for her...obviously this company had no policy regarding appearance if this sight is supposed to represent a 1st impression for the company. Not only was her skirt way high above her knees but the make up and hair was story for another day...in my invisible rating score board I marked the company <strong><em>4/10</em></strong> based off of 1st impression.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Anywayzzzz, it came my turn and I was shown in to a lady wearing about 16 bundles on full wavy human hair...must be a competition up in this joint<em><strong> </strong>mehn</em>!!</div>
<div>
So I immediately started selling my self <em>as per person wey get plenty experience and needs no interview but an acceptance letter sharpily</em>.....*slow down Realness...slowwww dowwnnnn now!</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
The lady with the <em>fizzy</em> hair explained that they are a Telemarketing company and blah blah blah....So basically...<strong><em>this job wasn't actually a job</em></strong>...it was a training programme!! The company actually trains you to become a telemarker with a course that runs for 2 weeks after which you get a certificate and a 100% job guarantee in companies such as MTN, Glo...telecom companies <em>sha</em>..*<em>yimu</em>*</div>
<div>
She kept on emphasizing on the fact that the company brings in '<strong><em>American</em></strong>' expertraites to do the training and the '<strong><em>Americans</em></strong>' will teach you how to speak with an <strong><em>American accent</em></strong>...<em>buhahahahaa</em>. <em>chai!</em> I immediately burst out laughing..I cudnt hold it in <em>yoooo</em>..she had a look like <em>'what is this bitch laughing at'</em>? I calmed my self down and asked why a Nigerian company would want ppl with American accent manning their phones...how will an average Nigerian understand what <em>da bloody hell</em> I'm saying in a <strong><em>'American accent'</em></strong>? If they wanted to teach an accent or something...it shud probably be <em>'pidgin English or Igbo, Yoruba or Hausa'</em> so that the common Nigerian will easily understand...<em>lmaooooo</em>. Of cos she had no answer for me...<em>like seriously</em>? Was the <em><strong>'American'</strong></em> this and that supposed to impress me? Was that their selling point?....ignorance!!!</div>
<div>
<br />
The lady then turns her laptop for me to read through more info on the company.....in my mind I was like, what is it I have to read that you haven't told me already <em>ehhhhh</em>?...mmmmm...So I'm reading and reading and seeing numbers of trainees they've had and their success stories and <em>what not</em>...it was actually right up my alley...just 2weeks training and a job...<em>bingo</em>!</div>
<div>
<br />
So I scroll down to the final page and <strong><em>BAM</em></strong>!!...the '<em><strong>catch</strong></em>'...</div>
<div>
See <em>ehhh</em>...I know there was no way in hell getting a job could be this easy...I was already settling my mind that <em>patapata</em> it wud be a marketing job..in which I'll just say 'thank you' and walk away....I will make a terrible Marketer...I lack the patience for such and I can't imagine <em>kissing filthy asses</em> just 2 meet a target...hell, I can't even convince myself to do a lot of things not 2 talk of someone else...so marketing was really a no no for me...no sir! I digress....</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
So the last page had a fee ladies and gentlemen...N73,000 for 2 weeks training plus a certificate worth another N10,000 in order to be <em>'100% guaranteed a job'</em>...lol</div>
<div>
She must have noticed my expression which she must have been used to seeing by now on faces reacting to that 'last page'...so she quickly added that for today alone I'm only required to pay N43,000 as a promo that ends today...trained by '<strong><em>Americans</em></strong>'......<em>uuuhhh laaalaaa</em>!!.....mayb she was expecting me 2 breathe a sigh of relief seeing as she just saved me a whooping 30k and all..lol. </div>
<div>
<br />
So that wud be N53,000 (+10k certificate fee) as opposed to the initial 83k....*c<em>ue in 'jumping 4 joy' emoji*...yimuest!</em><br />
<em></em><br />
<em>Collecting money from an umemployed person instead of offering it.......</em></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
What did I decide 2 do next?</div>
<div>
<em>Oya</em> wait I'll be back with a reply.....*snooze fest*....zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Till my next post.........</div>
</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07642535202181822107noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4025087654063043212.post-17173034544574380462015-02-24T12:13:00.000-08:002015-03-01T04:44:43.768-08:00My job hunting experience so far....<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div>
So since my wicked employers decided it was time I become a <a href="http://realnessisme.blogspot.com/2015/02/guess-what.html" target="_blank">worthless sacrifice to Boko Haram</a>, I decided to save my pretty head <em>oooo jare</em>.......<em>patapata</em> I'll use my little savings 2 start <em>hawking pure water, car charger or cleaning wind shields in traffic...</em></div>
<div>
<br />
Well i'v fully embarked on my job hunting expidition and thus far i'v registered to job sites for help. </div>
<div>
Let me tell u <em>ehhhh</em>...its a whole different ball game when someone who has been in employment for years suddenly isn't anymore. It took me a couple of days to recuperate. </div>
<div>
1st...waking up in the mornings and staying home for days and days is driving me <em>bonkers</em>. Feels like the twitching and convulsion will soon set in and all....<em>gooooshhhh</em>!!.</div>
<div>
<br />
So iv been buying Tuesday Guardian newspaper and sourcing out jobs suitable for me. There are the ones that will ask for you to send your qualifications and <em>blah blah</em> to a certain number for an instant job....*rolling my eyes*</div>
<div>
<br />
Of cos I now know better than I did since I started job hunting. About 70% of jobs i'v applied for happen to send me texts within 24hours inviting me to come for a briefing or training at <em>so and so</em> location the next day...some will even go as far as congratulating me on my immediate job offer and excellent salary package..*<em>as per President's daughter that I am...getting special treatment tinz*........*yimu*</em></div>
<div>
Infact let me copy and paste samples of texts I get...........</div>
<div>
<br />
**You have been shortlisted for a post of UNIT MANAGER in MPG Resources @ 161, Ikorodu Rd, Onipanu B/Stop Opposite Eco Bank on Fri. 06/02/15 by 9AM. CAREER 0131** </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
**M.G.Resources invites you for an Aptitude test/briefing@ 161,Ikorodu rd,Onipanu B/stop.Beside Lanre Shittu Motors,FRI,20/02/15 by 9am,08033033399**</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
**U ARE INVITED FOR AN INTERVIEW & JOB BRIEFING EXERCISE WITH OUR MGT TEAM DG CONCEPT ON 16/2/15@39 UNITY ROAD OFF MOBOLAJI BANK ANTHONY WAY, IKEJA, LAGOS. 9:00AM**</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
**You are invited for an interview with MRC on Wed. 11/2/15, by 2pm at 2nd floor, 343 Agege Motor Road, Challenge B/Stop Mushin Lagos. Adm:UN003C/HR:08185117920 **</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Being a novice in job hunting in Naija, I screamed for joy the first time I got one of these texts (the 1st one I pasted)...infact I started announcing that I had an interview to attend the next day for a post of Unit Manager...as in I was feeling like the <em>chosen one</em>....imagine applying one time and getting interview the next day..*<strong><em>pops collar....big girlz tinzzz...holla</em></strong>*</div>
<div>
<br />
So being that nobody had ever heard of the company that sent me the text and I needed directions to the location of my <strong><em>million dollar job</em></strong>, I decided to call the phone number attached to the text for directions and all..</div>
<div>
A guy picked the call sounding like I woke him from his slumber. I told him I got a text from this number and needed to know the kind of company it was as I have filled a lot of applications, some I cant even remember. The guy hesitated and told me to just be there tomorrow as long as I got the text. I persisted but he kept dodging the question, so I hung up. All my excitement just fizzled out and something told me things weren't adding up...reputable companies wudnt send you these kind of text messages in the 1st place...so I decided to try my bestie 4 life '<em>google</em>'. I searched the mentioned company and <em><strong>voila</strong></em>! All I saw was <strong><em>Scam Scam Scam!!!</em></strong> I clicked on the one associated with <em>Nairaland</em> and got all the answers I was looking for. There was already a thread going on where novices like me pasted the exact same text and asked if it was real and just like that all my hope was lost...as a <strong><em>confam</em></strong> <a href="http://realnessisme.blogspot.com/2014/12/cry-baby.html" target="_blank">cry baby</a> that I am, I took a couple of minutes to shed tears...oh how embarrasing......the thread on Nairaland confirmed such texts were scams. There was even a text that required I bring N1000 along to the briefing. </div>
<div>
<br />
I'm really grateful for the <strong>internet and my darling google</strong>. Infact immediately I get an email or text for and interview now i'm straight onto google to check out the company and its authenticity before I dare make a move..</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
So my brothers and sisters <em>ehhhhh</em>...its really an eye opener for me in this job hunting phase. I'm still learning.</div>
<div>
<br /><strong>
</strong><em>P.s- In order not 2 make this post a novel, I'll just break down my job hunting experiences ranging from the interviews iv attended so far and the Alhajis from connections i made from my previous job asking 2 pay money in2 my account to come for a visit and discuss my job issue...buhahahahahahahhah...I can't deal yoooo...<br />
</em><br />
<em><em>P.p.s- incase you are wondering how I got my previous job without hunting...let's just say it was practically dropped on my lap.......this time OYO is my case.</em><br />
</em><br />
Till my next post...</div>
</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07642535202181822107noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4025087654063043212.post-62635956737972854792015-02-10T10:38:00.000-08:002015-02-13T03:47:21.650-08:00Guess what!!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Been years I know! lol<br />
<br />
A lot... and I mean a loooooooottttt has happened within this past week...mmmmm......<br />
<br />
Where do I start?.....<em>and NO neither </em><a href="http://realnessisme.blogspot.com/2014/12/i-have-2-boyfriends.html" target="_blank"><em>Dan</em></a><em> nor </em><a href="http://realnessisme.blogspot.com/2014/12/i-have-2-boyfriends.html" target="_blank"><em>Ken</em></a><em> took me to the North Pole to propose with the biggest rock ever liveth....No...none of that happened me mates....wud have been nice thou but no...didn't happen. Sorry 2 disappoint you guys o jare!</em><br />
<br />
So the monitoring spirits and <em>'bad belles'</em> from my village are finally making progress...chai! They have almost succeeded ooooooo. They have probably discovered a high ranking <em>Native Doctor</em> somewhere, provided him with one of my panties on request which he then sniffed before dipping in a clay pot full of <strong><em>juju</em></strong> herbs and spiders amidst chants....and guess what?....it luckily worked!!...chai...I am finished ooooooo!!<br />
<br />
Story story storyyyyyyyyyy....<br />
<br />
So I went to work the other day and I got a letter!!....Hold Up..wait a minute....NOT a love letter seeing as Valentines day is right around the corner....nope!<br />
<br />
My sisters and Brothers I got a <strong><em>TRANSFER LETTER</em></strong>...<br />
<br />
You are probably wondering by now why I'm acting all these drama seeing that I'm a single babe with no kids to take care of or a husband's chest to rub...so what's the big deal in being transferred sef?..at least you will enjoy your freedom abi? Well if those were your line of thoughts then you are thinking very well my dear BUT there is more. Now if I was transferred to <em>Calabar</em> or where else is far sef?...mmmm..*thinking* <em>Benue state</em>?...well u sha catch my drift...if it was somewhere like those places, I'll probably get ready in 5mins and zoom off to the airport with a spring in my step...oh yessss!<br />
<br />
But I was transferred to the <strong><em>NORTH</em></strong>....yeh you read that right. I'm not talking abt <em>Kano</em> or some other safe zones (is <em>Kano</em> even safe sef?) but I was transfered to the heart of <strong><em>Boko Haram</em></strong>. One of the main states that has been and still is under attack...*rolling eyes*...<em>oya</em> tell me this is not the work of my enemies? *smh* It just has to be...there is an invisible hand in all this...chai! Or wait...did I offend any Oga at the top? But then again it can't be that bcos majority of us were affected....<br />
<br />
<em>See ehhhhh</em>...I don't have skills in <em><strong>dodging bombs</strong></em> <em><strong>ooooo</strong></em>....I don't!<br />
<br />
On this note I leave you to digest this info abeg...its not fair jor!<br />
<br />
Till my next post...</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07642535202181822107noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4025087654063043212.post-70162272203164627672015-01-31T04:50:00.002-08:002015-01-31T04:50:55.647-08:00Get yours, don't you dare touch mine!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div>
You know when you are out and you order something 2 eat and the guy you are with says he doesn't want anything 2 eat. Then when your yummy meal arrives, he has the guts 2 dip his bloody fingers in2 your food.......oh hell noooooooooooooo!!</div>
<div>
This also applies 2 ladies as well ofcos.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Why say you are not hungry but want to share mine when it arrives? That's just fucking annoying....arrrgggghhhhhhh!! </div>
<div>
See ehhh....I have no problem sharing food or none of that....but why pretend like you don't eat or that you are watching what you eat or you don't have enuff money 2 pay for 2 plates of food but go ahead to shorten my ration? *rolling eyes* </div>
<div>
Me I don't have shame in that department. If a guy or anyone I'm out with says he/she doesn't want food when I'm ordering, I normally turn to them and ask 'are u really sure you don't want anything'?...when the answer is 'No' and the waiter leaves I look them straight in the eyes with a mean mug and tell dem that they better not touch my food and it isn't a joke...then I keep the stare for abt 5secs longer b4 turning away! Badass!! </div>
<div>
Most times the other person calls back the waiter and places an order for fear of what I might do..lol...or they simply try hard 2 ignore my food wen it comes. For those that think the warning is all a joke and still go ahead to dig in...I simply move my plate closer to my self and form a shield. Wateva mehnnnn....call it stingy or wateva......na you sabi!!</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Get yours...leave mine the hell alone!!</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Till my next post...</div>
</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07642535202181822107noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4025087654063043212.post-39465599724518884362015-01-24T07:45:00.000-08:002015-01-24T08:45:43.588-08:00Parents that take their kids to 'Joints' a.k.a 'Beer parlours'<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
A lot of changes are happening in my life right now and they are not so good news but I can't talk abt them now.. that's why I don't really blog in 'real time' so that monitoring spirits will not fish me out...lol..I'm going to blog abt these happenings but I'll just give it a space of weeks or months lol..iv already thought it out...<br />
<br />
Anywayzzzzzz...dats by the way..<br />
<br />
Story story storrrrrryyyyyyy....<br />
<br />
So I was out the other night with the same guy dat took me 2 the strip club, this guy obviously loves going to places where girls shake their 'bum bum'...well it was a joint with the obvious very loud music, scantily dressed girls, alcohol, chops, smokers everywhere and a live band with 3 girls in crop-tops and extremely tight leggings gyrating to the music. Lets just say it was an ADULT scene..<br />
We were well into it for about an hour when a couple walked in with their kid who looked abt 2years old. Did I mention that it was some minutes to 10pm? Yep...u heard right!<br />
<br />
The couple with their kid took a seat very close to the gyrating 'bum bums' and mega speakers....but dats not even d issue here....ladies and gentlemen the issue here is that this couple felt it was appropriate to bring their child to such a place, shudnt dis baby be fast asleep at that time? Arnt kids supposed to be in bed by 7pm? Na wa oooooo! You might say, a 2yrs old isn't aware of happenings around him but besides d 'bum bums', what abt the smoke inhalation or the eardrum bursting music?...ehen you see?<br />
Iv seen this happen a number of times in this country when I go out at night to very private ADULT hangouts! I try to find reasons for this but I just can't. Sometimes I see older kids within the ages of 7-14 come with their parents...such kids are obviously aware of their surroundings, hearing nasty music and seeing vibrating bumbums isn't just appropriate. Yeh they might already see such on TV and on the internet when their parents arnt there but I feel its wrong when parents intentionally take their kids to places were alcohol and cigarette, weed or wateva smoking is flying around..no no no...smh<br />
<br />
Kids entertainment I believe should be done before 6pm but if its a late dinner then a restaurant is O.k. There are truck loads of eateries in this country....chai I'm dreaming of Domino's Pizza and Coldstone ice cream...shiverrrssss...I actually ate a whole medium sized extraveganza Pizza and red velvet, vanilla, coconut and oreo topping ice cream combo in a chocolate topped cone some nights ago...goooooosssssshhhhh! I enjoyed it ehhhh!! I just crept in2 my room, triple bolted the door and dug in while undressing! Chai... I enjoyed it ehhhh...it was a free meal and I don't like disappointing ppl by rejecting an offer...I really don't like hurting ppl's feelings so I accepted the free meal, *yimu*....good news is that I'm still trying to lose weight sha...yehhhh 4 me!!...<br />
<br />
Sorry I digressed..<br />
<br />
Ok, as I was saying.. It irks me to see parents come to 'joints' at night sometimes by 11pm with their kids!! Wat da hell? Lmaoooooo...I just remebered one occasion like dis ehhh, I was hanging out on a weekend around that kind 9pm and a couple sat at the next table....they had a baby who was abt 8months old or so and a housegirl was with them too (I assumed it was their housegirl cos her hair was in low cut, smallish and wearing a housegirl-ish dress attending to d baby's needs)... I laughed so hard wen d housegirl started shaking her body slowly to the music and even singing along in a low voice, it was so funny bcos she kept 'checking herself out' like when a fine babe is making sure she looks fab cos a guy somewhere is checking her out!! Sorry but it was 2 funny....I screamed with laughter..lmao<br />
<br />
I still sha don't agree with kids being exposed to loud music, smoking, alcohol, scantily dressed ladies and even guys smooching their babes in public at ungodly hours...that's why its called Adult time. Leave ur babies at home with your housegirls or relatives and don't step out at night if no one is available 2 mind the kids....Its just irresponsible in my book.<br />
<br />
Till my next post...</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07642535202181822107noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4025087654063043212.post-72550446861682717442015-01-20T06:00:00.000-08:002015-01-23T12:43:02.188-08:00The INSULT!!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Met this babe during NYSC camp and we clicked.. maybe cos of the whole <i><b>
IJGBs</b></i> (I just got back) stuff..lol... she lived abroad as well.<br />
<br />
We became quite close even after we left service.<br />
<br />
Fast
forward to about a year and a half later, she called me that she was
engaged. I had already left the state which we served by then but she still
lived there so I didn't know who the guy was since she was dating another
guy last I heard.<br />
<br />
I was very happy for her and ofcos asked her
for all d details. <i><b>Where they met, how and where he proposed, where he
is from, his age, where he worked and what he looked like</b></i>. She gave me
his name and asked me to check him out on facebook. I quickly rushed 2
FB and checked him out. He was <i><b>ok</b></i> looking and <i><b>short</b></i> compared to the other
people in his pics. After checking him out I sent him a friend's request <i><b>as
per my new brother in-law tinz</b></i>.<br />
<br />
My brothers and sisters..some hours
later she called me and said she saw the friend's request I sent. I said
<i><b> to who</b></i>? She said she has her fiance's FB password and she saw my
request. Her tone alone <i><b>sef ehhhhh</b></i> just shocked me. This babe was
practically accusing me of something. I asked what her point was and she
said she doesn't want her friends being FB friends with her husband and
I shudnt have sent any re<br />
<br />
<i><b>Chai</b></i>!!quest and that her mother adviced her on such
and <i><b>blah blah blah</b></i>...<i><b>as per</b></i> warning.<br />
<br />
Insult!!............... <i><b>Tufia</b></i>!<br />
<br />
See
ehhh.. All d time I had known this girl, I don't believe I had shown
signs of <i><b>boyfriend snatching</b></i>. For the fact that she believes my sending a
Friend's request to her man means something else then our way of
thinking was actually on two opposite ends.<br />
<i><b>Or it cud be that her fiance has shown signs of philandering...I can't tell</b></i>.<br />
<br />
This same babe had actually dated someone that was after me while we were
<i><b>serving</b></i>, although she didn't meet d guy while he was <i><b>toasting</b></i> me, but the
guy told her he knew me wen he saw she and i together. Its not even
snatching in anyway but that's the closest we've eva got to dating the
same guy even thou I didn't date him.<br />
<br />
<i><b>You get my drift</b></i>?<br />
<br />
Wat
now <i><b>warranted</b></i> dis babe to even think that I wud involve in some FB
craziness with her man??..<i><b>buhahahahahahahaha</b></i>...<i><b>I don suffer</b></i>.<br />
My dear
ppl if I describe this her husband <i><b>ehhhhh</b></i>...d guy is <i><b>ok</b></i> looking but not
even anywhere near my spec. First of, he is<i><b> SHORT</b></i>...my <i><b>shoulder
height-ish</b></i>... and he is <i><b>light skinned (which im not a fan of)</b></i>...this babe knew my spec down
2 the <i><b>T</b></i> so what entered her brain 2 think that a simple friends's
request will turn in2 a full blown romance with her husband for that
matter...<i><b>a fucking midget</b><b>!!</b></i> <i><b>Smh</b></i><br />
<br />
That whole stuff pissed me off <i><b>ehhhhh</b></i>..<br />
<br />
But
guess what...I still bought<i><b> aso ebi</b></i>, paid tailor, made my hair, traveled to the <i><b>East</b></i> to attend her traditional marriage. I had to put up a front and just go although I had already made up my mind on
what to do.<br />
<br />
Wen I got back to my town I <i><b>cancelled</b></i> that
friendship. It felt like nothing, if someone I consider a true friend
could think a FB request means snatching her <i><b>midget</b></i> then that's not
friendship in my opinion....<i><b>me that I hardly have friends
sef.....mstcheww..</b></i><br />
<br />
She called me to be her maid of honour for her
white wedding and expected me to buy dress, hair, flight ticket <i><b>to &
fro</b></i>, hotel accommodation, feeding and <i><b>the lot</b></i> after accusing me....<i><b>she
must have lost her damn mind.</b></i> I can go all out for someone's event but not
when you cease to mean anything to me or worse <i><b>insult me</b></i>...<i><b>gaddammmmmnn</b></i>!!
No way!<br />
I told her I won't be coming cos I won't be in the country then......this was said without any malice whatsoever....<i><b>good riddance</b></i>..<br />
<br />
All contact has since been lost and I could hardly care less......thats one less stress for me<i><b> o jare</b></i>..<br />
<br />
Till my next post......</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07642535202181822107noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4025087654063043212.post-8635114487807905472015-01-17T02:54:00.001-08:002015-01-18T23:20:47.303-08:00Ken finally came in2 town..<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
If u don't know who Ken is kindly click <a href="http://realnessisme.blogspot.com/2014/12/i-have-2-boyfriends.html" target="_blank">here</a>..<br />
<br />Moving on...<br />
<br />
I got a call from Ken out of d blues after the 'first 2 call game' he was playing with himself.<br />
<br />
He called and told me he was in town and I was like 'OK, enjoy urself'.<br />
<br />
He pinged later and repeated it.. maybe thinking I'll be jumping for joy but I didn't reply..he got angry dat I didn't reply and said 'Bye' and I replied with 'Goodnyt'...<br />
<br />
Later in d evening he called again and asked me 2 come see him after work and I decided 2 go. If nothing but 2 tell him a piece of my mind and end things. This guy is so full of himself.<br />
<br />
Wen I got der, we immediately got in2 a heated argument. I listed out all d rubbish he has done like not caring, not calling, not coming to see me after so long, making excuse 4 me not 2 visit him and the fact dat he is STINGY!!<br />
Did I mention that he smelt so good 2? I have a weakness for guys that smell good...u know dat manly cologne-smell....*inserts inlove smile* I digress....<br />
<br />
Well, he tried 2 defend himself on all count but d stingy bit I threw in nearly knocked him out. He denied it and tried 2 recall ever giving me money but failed. I cud tell he felt d pain I felt after I recounted all his sins. Next thing he asked me 2 forward my account number 2 his fone and I did so faster than d speed of light lol. He placed a call 2 his manager and instructed him on wat 2 do.<br />
<br />
I'm still sha waiting 4 an alert...<br />
<br />
Ken spent d whole time trying 2 come on2 me or is it seduce me? You guys know wat men do naa...mayb he thought it wud lighten my mood..(It did oooo..infact I was even enjoying it sef but trust me I used all my might 2 push him away in pretence..lmao..I gats 2 front na abi??)....anywayzzz, he kept pleading dat he will change and I kept on telling him dat after d 'shege' he showed me, I'm not interested in him again...I threw in a bucket of waterworks 2 emphasize the fact that he hurt me bad. U shud hav seen me crying dat I deserved better than what he had 2 offer...hehehehehe...chai!<br />
<br />
He kept saying 'baby girl u are my girlfriend and I promise that things will change, just wait and see'...<br />
Then as if led by the spirit..i threw all caution 2 d wind, looked him str8 in d eye and told him dat I'm done with bullshit...I'm in my late 20s and I want to settle down..fuck it....I want 2 get married!...mmmmm....those words rarely come out from my mouth cos I try 2 hide my desperation most times lol... I needed something 2 either scare him away or make him serious.<br />
<br />
He responded by saying he also wants d same thing and I shudnt worry blah blah blah.....<br />
<br />
Words mean nothing 2 me.....action does..<br />
<br />
Let's just say dis visit really confused me. I don't even know wat I'm doing anymore. Keeping two men and leading dem on..but I also don't have a reason 2 shooo any of dem away. My intention was 2 end all with Ken but he showed a different side of him that got me thinking. He also mentioned that he spoke 2 his mum who adviced him 2 pay more attention 2 me and make me feel special. Wateva!<br />
<br />
I'm just going 2 leave things like dis, both Dan and Ken have their good and bad qualities and I will have 2 just go with whoever makes the more serious move...<br />
<br />
Let's see how it goes sha...<br />
<br />
Till my next post..</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07642535202181822107noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4025087654063043212.post-50827641776972339952015-01-16T04:29:00.000-08:002015-01-16T04:29:40.933-08:00My name is Realness and I'm an addict....<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
They say the 1st step in
overcoming an addiction is 2 admit it..but in this case <i><b>I DO NOT</b></i> want a
cure 4 dis particular addiction.. not bcos I'm deceiving myself but bcos
it isn't a do or die.<br /><br /><i><b>I am addicted 2 MEAT!</b></i><br /><br /><i><b>Yes meat</b></i>!..of any kind except ofcos <i><b>snake</b></i> or <i><b>dog</b></i> or frogs or any other weird animals.<br />As
long as its beef, mutton, chicken, duck, turkey, <i><b>pomo, shaki,
roundabout,</b></i> liver, kidney, heart, intestine, pork...<i><b>u name it I will
eat</b></i>.<br /><br />If I was presented with a plate of <i><b>Jollof rice</b></i> plus <i><b>2 pieces
of meat</b></i> vs a plate of <i><b>10 pieces of assorted meat</b></i>...I will choose d
later without a blink of an eye. <br /><br />I also love <i><b>Sea food..fish, octopus, squid, mussles</b></i>, d lot!!....anything fleshy and edible..I'm game.<br />The way I crave meat <i><b>ehhhhh</b></i>...sometimes I just fantasize abt it and if I
need it and can't have it...the <i><b>twitching</b></i> and <i><b>convulsion</b></i> starts...<i><b>lol
just kidding</b></i>.<br /><br />Sometimes I just boil/grill chicken, plenty of it and keep in d fridge for snacking. I cant really go a day without my meat. <br />If I'm ordering food at work, there has to be at least <i><b>4 pieces of meat and a fish</b></i> with like <i><b>N50</b></i> rice just for the sake of it.<br /><br />Since I eat meals very high in protein and less carbs, why den doesn't the weight disappear? *sobs*<br /><br /><i><b>My meat addiction is one which I enjoy being addicted 2. Its an acceptable addiction</b></i>..<br /><br />Till my next post...</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07642535202181822107noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4025087654063043212.post-12168411082945888442015-01-15T03:44:00.000-08:002015-01-15T07:49:00.740-08:00Goat blood was yummy!!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
When we were younger and slaughter a Goat during festivities, the blood was usually poured into the Goat skin, held 2geda with an <i><b>intestine</b></i> or
was it a piece of string?..<i><b>can't remember</b></i>.<br />
It was then boiled till it hardens....at dis point, the colour turns from <i><b>blood red</b></i> to a <i><b>dark red</b></i>.<br />
It was then removed from the skin cover, allowed to cool and cut into
pieces which would then be used as part of d<i><b> ngwongwo</b></i> aka <i><b>orisirisi</b></i> aka
<i><b>assorted meat</b></i> in preparing <i><b>isi ewu</b></i> (goat-head delicacy). <br />
<br />
Hold
up.....I know some of you are probably <i><b>puking</b></i> right now or <b><i>squeezing up
your faces</i></b> in disgust...<i><b>na una sabi jare..</b></i>never condemn till u try it.
<i><b>Tasting is believing</b></i>.<br />
<br />
The thing is that <i><b>boiled Goat blood</b></i> in <i><b>isi
ewu...</b></i> massaged with that <i><b>finger licking sauce</b></i> tasted just like meat and
you wudnt even know the difference.<br />
<br />
Its not as if the blood is
consumed in its raw form...<i><b>wateva jooor</b></i>...it was <i><b>sha</b></i> tasty. The thought
of it now is soooo <i><b>yuckyyyyy</b></i> sef...<i><b>ewwwwwwwww</b></i>!!<br />
<br />
Would I be caught dead trying it again? <i><b>Maybe</b></i>.....<i><b>Yes</b></i>! lol.<br />
<br />
Feel free to use the above recipe....don't worry i wont charge...<i><b>buhahahahahhahha...</b></i><br />
<br />
<br />
Till my next post....</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07642535202181822107noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4025087654063043212.post-69648210904946483082015-01-13T23:30:00.000-08:002015-01-13T23:33:20.365-08:00My Relationship Status<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
I went on a date last night and yes I know there's the
<i><b>Surest boy</b></i> <a href="http://realnessisme.blogspot.com/2014/12/i-have-2-boyfriends.html" target="_blank">Dan</a>, the annoying <a href="http://realnessisme.blogspot.com/2014/12/i-have-2-boyfriends.html" target="_blank">Ken</a> who I have put on '<i><b>pause</b></i>'.........can u imagine this Ken thinks I'm here waiting for him and weneva his<i><b> little brain</b></i>
finally wants 2 settle down, he will <i><b>press my button</b></i> and I will jump? <i><b>He
is on a longgggggggg tin...dat guy is dense sha! </b></i><br />
<a href="http://realnessisme.blogspot.com/2014/12/plan-c_27.html" target="_blank"><i><b>Plan C</b></i></a> has been terminated unfortunately..... <i><b>he didn't pass d test</b></i>. Bye bye <a href="http://realnessisme.blogspot.com/2014/12/plan-c_27.html" target="_blank">Plan C</a>..<br />
<br />
Since
I haven't been officially proposed to, I consider myself <i><b>SINGLE</b></i> and <i><b>
available 2 mingle</b></i>. <i><b>No1 </b></i>and I repeat<i><b> NO ONE</b></i> can stop me till u get
serious and claim me <i><b>joor</b></i>! I am off d market once I get the <i><b>rock</b></i>...till
den...<i><b>yawnzzzzz..zzzzzzzzzz</b></i>!!<br />
<br />
Dating tires me out and bores the <i><b>fuck
out of me</b></i>. All that <i><b>giggling</b></i> and <i><b>pretence</b></i>, trying 2 please...(not from my
end obviously). I was very bored <i><b>joor</b></i> and needed <i><b>liquor</b></i> in my system 2 distract me
from d day's activities, so I agreed 2 d date. And cos I knew I wud get d
best of everything cos dats just how 1st dates go, d guy wud want 2
impress and buy u expensive wine and food 2 show off. I might as well
enjoy it <i><b>abi?</b></i>. On d second date its either u meet in his house or a hotel
2 compensate 4 d expensive Champagne and food. <i><b>Afterall nothing comes 4
free</b></i>. <br />
Ofcos I wudnt have gone if <i><b>Dan</b></i> was in town....just out of
respect oooo...wudnt want distractions wen I'm trying 2 eat my catfish
pepper soup or isi ewu...<i><b>noooooooo sir</b></i>!!!..<br />
<br />
Let me tell u, if any1 asks
if I'm <i><b>committed</b></i>, I always say <i><b>NO</b></i> (which is d truth)...why wud I want 2
<i><b>block my future husband</b></i> or pour <i><b>sand sand</b></i> inside my <b><i>gari</i></b>?.....<b><i>for wat na</i></b>? <i><b>I
dey mad</b></i>? What if dis person wants me or wants 2 hook me up <b><i>nko</i></b> for <i><b>sharp
sharp</b></i> marriage <b><i>tinzzzz</i></b>?..<i><b>abeg ooo</b></i>. I'm very open minded as it is.<br />
<br />
<i><b>P.S-
Dan speaks Spanish as well as Igbo ofcos. I love it wen he starts a
message with Halo Amo or Te amo or Mi amo or however d hell u spell dem Spanish words.
(I wud rush 2 google translator 4 d meanings ofcos) Its so so sweet........ BUT
since wen has Sweetness or Spanish got someone to the Alter or supplied 100
tubers of yam as per part of bride price list ehhhh?..msctewwwwwww!!</b></i><br />
<br />
Infact I'm pissed............</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07642535202181822107noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4025087654063043212.post-19193631333110008942015-01-12T23:57:00.001-08:002015-01-12T23:57:48.259-08:00Seat Belt Palava!!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Oh been so so so busy and all, this <i><b>nonsense</b></i> job with its <i><b>annoying</b></i> salary
is taking up my time. Infact I'm on d hunt 4 a new one <i><b>sef</b></i>. I shud b
able 2 spend a weekend in Malta or Turkey at least once a month if thats
what I <i><b>fancy</b></i>....<i><b>don't roll ur eyes</b></i>...its possible guys!<br /><br />Anywayzzzzz....<br /><br />Ladies and gentlemen, we have a <i><b>seat belt</b></i> issue in dis nation. <br /><br /><i><b>See
ehh........ </b></i>once I enter a car and my <i><b>yansh</b></i> touches d seat, my hand
automatically goes 2 d seat belt by default. Sometimes I don't even know
when I do it. Its like <i><b>reflex</b></i>, I can't control it. My system has been
programmed in such a way that <i><b>cars</b></i> and <i><b>seat belts</b></i> go <i><b>hand in hand</b></i>.
Sometimes I get a <i><b>stare</b></i> and a<i><b> giggle</b></i> and of cos d famous line<i><b> ''but you are
just going down d street why wear your seat belt'</b></i>'?............ I'm like '<i><b>huh</b></i>'?<br />So seat belts are now for wen you r going far or on d express road? <i><b>Bloody ignorant</b></i>..*<i><b>eyes rolling</b></i>'*<br />Whenever I get such a comment and I have d time or I'm in a good mood I take a <i><b>deep ass breath</b></i> and do my mini lecture.<br />I'm speaking abt dis now cos same thing was said 2 me last night..<i><b>imagine</b></i>!<br /><br />Storry
story storrryyyyyy..................Ok I'm kidding... no story 2day..<i><b>hehehehehe</b></i>. I just
like saying that '<i><b>tales by moonlight</b></i>' story story stuff. Good <i><b>ol'</b></i>
memories ehhh..<br /><br /><i><b>A seat belt is a safety device that acts as a
human protector in reducing injury or death against harmful movements
such as a minor or major accident.</b></i><br /><br />
So my brothers and sisters, you cud
just be driving around your <i><b>quiet boring</b></i> neighbourhood and a <i><b>lunatic</b></i> could
just slam you from behind or you lose control. <i><b>Dats an accident</b></i>. It could
happen <i><b>anytime</b></i>, <i><b>anywhere </b></i>even at <i><b>your doorstep</b></i>.<br />
<br />
Even wen I'm in a commercial bus, d conductor will <i><b>rake</b></i> about wearing d
seat belt only wen a road official is sighted...There was a time I sat
in front of a bus and buckled my belt<i><b> as per normal</b></i>, when we had gone
past some road officials, d conductor started unbuckling my seat belt for me
as if he was doing me a favour! <i><b>Imagine</b></i>! As if trying 2 say '<i><b>hey sister u
r free now, no1 is watching..u can now take d shackle off...... pop champagne if u may</b></i>'.. Smh*<br />
Wat about d buses with the <i><b>non
functioning</b></i> seat belts...... the ones tied 2 the opposite end and all u have 2 do is
<i><b>bend </b><b>ur kneck</b></i> to get into it....its so tight to the point of <i><b>choking</b></i>........ or the ones that have a faulty buckle and all you have to do is cross it over and let it rest on you like it is actually buckled......all these in effort to deceive the road officials.......buhahahahahahhaha..<i><b>I
can't yo</b></i>..<br /><br />
It takes seconds 2 buckle up and it also takes nothing from you. I
know death is <i><b>inevitable</b></i> but can we just do the little we can if possible
2 <i><b>postpone</b></i> it? lol..I know..<br /><br /><br /><i><b>P.s- Dis is not a seat belt advert or none.......i really wish!!</b></i><br />
<br />
Till my next post..........................</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07642535202181822107noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4025087654063043212.post-64568050474413602752015-01-08T03:12:00.000-08:002015-01-08T03:12:10.498-08:00This guy at work that does NOTHING!!!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
So like i said b4, we've had some <b><i>goings-on</i></b> happening at work. Some reshuffling and terminations.<br />
<br />
Quite a few people were terminated including some who were of Management level and have been with the company for 10-15 yrs.<br />
These terminations came unannounced and it shook everyone. Almost all d people that had to go had major day to day roles in building the Org.....<br />
<br />
<b><i>But this ONE guy wasn't terminated</i></b>.......<br />
<br />
See eh.... dis guy comes to work around 11am while every other person resumes at 8am, he just strolls in and sits by d reception area. His designation is <b><i>Patrol Officer</i></b>. He would then step out occasionally to have breakfast, lunch and a bit of a stroll to stretch his legs. He is back again on his seat, <i><b>gists</b></i> a little, looks into space, reads the day's newspaper and dozes off a couple of times.<br />
<br />
Closing time is 6pm but the guy leaves <i><b>around dat kind</b></i> 3pm.<br />
<br />
Now u would think that this guy will be one of the first people to receive a letter seeing as he is <i><b>jobless</b></i>...but <i><b>NO</b></i> he didn't get anything. Infact, the management doesn't even discuss him, <i><b>as in </b></i>complain that he does nothing and is not useful. Its like there is a <i><b>code or something</b></i> not to talk about him. I just don't understand. <i><b>Is it that he has some kinda connection up in d food chain... Someone with a 'high rank' like a relative that just wants him to leave d house everyday and earn a salary</b></i>?<br />
<br />
That's the only explanation i can give this situation. Anybody iv asked is lost just like i am.....mmmm<br />
<br />
<br />
Till my next post..............</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07642535202181822107noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4025087654063043212.post-50165656630180881262015-01-07T03:54:00.001-08:002015-01-07T03:56:35.994-08:00My RITUAL-ISTIC experience..<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
I DO NOT believe in <i><b>Rituals, Juju, Magic </b></i>and d lot!<br />
<br />
<i><b>I don't believe
that someone will actually kill a virgin or whoever, stick d body in a
clay pot or wardrobe..chant a few bullshit and voila!! D body turns in2
money!! Buhahahahahahhaah...chai!! Chai!!</b></i><br />
<br />
<i><b>'Living in Bondage'</b></i>
ehh..I hail thee. If u r a Nigerian and havnt watched the movie <i><b>'Living
in Bondage'</b></i> den u r slacking my darling. For non Nigerians,<b><i> 'Living in
bondage'</i></b> is one of the 1st Nigerian movies abt d <i><b>evil of man</b></i>...<i><b>its was about a struggling guy who re-connected with an old rich friend and dis friend introduced
him 2 d source of his riches..Rituals!!. The struggling guy 'Andy' was
asked 2 sacrifice his pretty wife 'Merit' in exchange 4 wealth. Andy
being d airhead dat he was chose 2 sacrifice his wife, got rich and d
nightmares began. Things went downhill from der on</b></i>...<br />
Anywayzzzzz...<br />
I
used 2 b so scared of dat movie ehhhh.. D rituals part and wen <b><i>Merit</i></b>
his dead wife appeared as a ghost 2 taunt him...<i><b>I had nightmares</b></i>!<br />
<br />
Well.. As a <i><b>grown ass woman</b></i> now, nothing can convince me dat some magic or juju can turn a human in2 money..<i><b>no way</b></i>!!<br />
<br />
I
don't believe in Juju and magic.. Dey r just things of d mind. One of d
popular ones is wen <b><i>u pick or touch something on d ground and u
automatically turn in2 a yam or goat</i></b>! Lmao..na real wa..lol. The one abt
ppl dat can command rain..hahahahahahah...<i><b> Abegi</b></i>..*<i><b>rme</b></i>* <i><b>story 4 d gods</b></i>!<br />
Der
are stories of housegirls turning in2 Pythons, appearing and disappearing
or the ones that come from d underworld (<i><b>Dyesebel Mermaid Tinz</b></i>)
lolzzzzzz...<br />
Wat abt d almighty '<i><b>Spirit husband</b></i>'....ppl dat believe all dis crap neva seem 2 amaze me. <i><b>IGNORANCE!!</b></i><br />
<i><b>Magic is just a well calculated trick! Shikena!</b></i><br />
<br />
I had a ritualistic experience once that freaked d hell out of me..Let's just say it shook my bones...<i><b>Shiverrrrrrrrrrssssssss</b></i>!!<br />
<br />
Story story stooorrrryyyyyy................<br />
<br />
During my service year I met a lot of guys besides <a href="http://realnessisme.blogspot.com/2015/01/the-one-that-got-away-most-stupid.html" target="_blank">Emeka</a>, there was dis
Politician. We became friends, hung out now and then. I'm talking abt an
older guy dat was obviously looking 4 young blood.<br />
One day he asked 2
come pick me up around 7pm so I can accompany him 2 check up on his
construction site which was abt 2 hrs drive or so away. As a bored
Copper dat I was, I jumped at d road trip offer. <br />
We drove and drove and
drove..drove and drove some more..<b><i>His driver was actually driving</i></b>..abt
an hour later we turned off d express road into an <i><b>untarred patch</b></i>..at dis
point I was so enjoying d trip..fully AC'd car and things 2 munch in d
car...I was more dan relaxed.<br />
<br />
Abt 20 mins later we turned off d untarred
road into d <b><i>BUSH</i></b>... It was abt 9pm by now and everywr was <i><b>pitch black</b></i>. I
immediately shook off my enjoyment mood and sat d hell up. I looked at
dis Politician guy beside me and asked why we have to use a bush 2 d site
and dis <i><b>maga</b></i> said '<b><i>are u afraid? Do u think I want to use u to do
rituals</i></b>??''...see question...<b><i>oh SHIT</i></b>!! I almost threw up..my heart
practically stopped. Tears started flowing and I started saying 2 myself
<i><b>'so dis is how I will end ehhhh'?? Just like dis?? Y didn't I just sit
at home and wallow in my boredom oooo..who send me ooooo....is it by
force 2 follow man?. I even went as far as 2 swear dat if I'm spared dis
night, I will neva say hi 2 a human with balls again and I will go 2
church everyday and remain thankful.</b></i> The guy saw d pannic in me and
laughed dat evil <i><b>buhahahahahha</b></i>-laughter....dis guy was taunting me and I
cried harder. As we made a turn..guess wat I saw next...deep inside d
bush der was a well lit <b><i>wooden house</i></b>, a group of men sat on benches
inside and each wore a red and white robe and things like candles were
lit all around...<i><b>Shitttttt</b></i>!! Coincidence?? I almost fainted...next thing
I knew as if by default, I reached for my door handle while d car was
still in motion and pulled d door open while dat stupid man was still
laughing at me...the driver immediately turned back wen he heard d door
open and stepped on his brake...I made to dive out of dat nonsense AC'd
car..at least if I roll off I can quickly regain my strength and run as
fast as my body can carry me in2 d bush and far away...<br />
Wen d driver actually
stopped, I thought d guys in d wooden house will immediately run out
with ropes 2 tie me up and put me up 4 sacrifice courtesy <b><i>The
Politicain</i></b>...so dis guy wants 2 use me as sacrifice 2 gain power for his
political ambitions?...<b><i>I AM FINISHED</i></b>!!<br />
<br />
As I was making 2 dive
head first out d car, d Politician held me back and I fought him off
with all my might..I became a <i><b>Crouching Tiger hidden Dragon</b></i>. The driver
cudnt believe wat was going on and kept asking me 2 calm down.
Politician guy pulled me back in, shot the door and off we continued on
our journey....<br />
I was visibly trembling and wailing without shame, my
eyes were blood shot. Dis was a near death experience for me....just d
panic alone cud have taken my breath away...mmmmmmmm.....<br />
<br />
Politician was
amazed at my action and stopped laughing.. D man cudn't believe I
thought he wanted to use me 4 Rituals..he became so angry and wen we
reached d construction site, he told everyone der wat happened and dey
laughed so hard...imagine these unsympathetic Pigs....mschewwwwww!<br />
<br />
Long story short...I cut all contact with Politician <i><b>b4 joke go turn real one day..not on my behalf abeg!! Wat rubbish</b></i>!!<br />
<br />
<i><b>P.S-
but wat were those guys really doing in d bush in d middle of d night
wearing a red and white uniform. There was no TV or bottles, dats
assuming it was a Beer Palor. It was more like a
meeting....shivverrrrssssss...</b></i><br />
<br />
Dat experience still scares me...<br />
I still dont believe in rituals thou............... <br />
<br />
Till my next post.................</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07642535202181822107noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4025087654063043212.post-35190195243729648392015-01-06T01:49:00.000-08:002015-01-06T06:57:33.931-08:00The one that got away... The most stupid breakup EVER!!.<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
During my service year (NYSC) I met dis guy.. Let's call him <i><b>*Emeka..</b></i><br />
<b><i>Single...</i></b><br />
<b><i>Good looking.....</i></b><br />
<b><i>Good job....</i></b><br />
<b><i>Money in d bank....</i></b><br />
<b><i>O.K sex....</i></b><br />
<b><i>Nice house...</i></b><br />
<b><i>Gentleman....</i></b><br />
<b><i>Mature.....</i></b><br />
Let's just say he was a perfect potential husband material..<br />
Let me see...wat bad quality did Emeka have?...mmmmm...<i><b>Waking up like 5am and watching CNN in d highest volume ever</b></i> & <i><b>he was a few inches shorter dan I am...but his good qualities greatly overshadowed his minor not-so-good-qualities...</b></i><br />
Anyway...................<br />
A friend introduced us and things were going smooth. Dis guy was well close to 40yrs old and showed all signs of settling down. He was so caring and generally treated me well. I cud sense he was looking for a wife and I responded accordingly. Going 2 his place was like being in a hotel.. Cook and Cleaner at my service.. <i><b>BLISS</b></i>...<br />
<br />
<i><b>Hold up...don't get carried away ....something always tends 2 spoil a lot of good and u won't even believe d stupid reason why things didn't work out.</b></i><br />
<br />
Story story storrrrryyyyyy....<br />
<br />
Emeka traveled one time and there was a delay in his coming back so wen we spoke one of those nights I told him how much I missed him and all dat lovey-dovey stuff..<br />
I wanted him 2 hurry and come back so I said <b><i>'' 2moro is my birthday so u have to come back and celebrate with me''</i></b> of cos it wasn't my birthday, I just missed him and wanted him 2 come quick.....<br />
<br />
After that phone call, <i><b>Emeka neva called me again</b></i> and wen I called him he neva picked...<i><b>I was dazed!! Almost like I was dreaming..how can sumthing so beautiful just fade away without an explanation??</b></i><br />
<br />
U shud have seen how I cracked my brain <i><b>analyzing, scrutinizing, rewinding and reviewing</b></i> every word I said during our last conversation.<br />
Wat cud have happened? I tried reading btwn d lines and re-reading texts and cudnt make out wat brought abt dis reaction from Emeka all in a blink of an eye.<br />
<br />
I called and called and called and he wudnt even pick..<i><b>SHIT</b></i>! I didn't bother going 2 his place cos I don't do such..go 2 someone's place uninvited?..<i><b>na so d thing dey scratch me reach</b></i>? NO WAY!<br />
<br />
Der was dis once he picked after so many days and said I shudnt call him again, I asked y and he wudnt say. Isn't dat so annoying?<br />
<br />
My dear, dis was how dis guy ended everything just like dat and it hurts more wen u don't even know what happened or what u did. <i><b>I was just clueless</b></i>..<br />
<br />
Fast forward years later and <i><b>somehow somehow</b></i> we got in contact again..By then he was married..very newly married, infact just a matter of months. We got chatting on BBM, one thing led 2 another and d issue of <i><b>his breakup with me</b></i> crept up.<br />
This time Emeka decided 2 open up and tell me y he really called it off..<br />
<br />
<i><b>Wait 4 it guys..drum roll plsssss....................</b></i><br />
<br />
The <i><b>Negro</b></i> Emeka said he called it off cos <i><b>I LIED that d 'next day' of dat faithful phone call was my BIRTHDAY</b></i>.........<i><b>SHIT MEHN</b></i>!!<br />
I was like<b><i> 'I'm sorry wat</i></b>''?..<br />
He said most girls in d city where we were den were fond of lying 2 guys abt their bdays so that guys will throw them several bday parties in a year and therefore extort money and gifts from these guys all in d name of parties..<br />
<br />
I was like..<i><b>NIGGA wat</b></i>?!!!... I cudnt believe wat i was reading...<br />
<br />
See let me tell u something...wen I met Emeka, I was serving(NYSC) in that state and had been there a few months for d 1st time ever in my life. I was an<i><b> IJGB</b></i> (I just got back) lol. I just got back in2 d country after a long stay abroad. Emeka was well aware of all these, he knew my Age, State of Origin, Residence, <i><b>BIRTH DAY</b></i> (which I told him a number of times). He also knew that I knew nobody in that state <i><b>so where did he get d idea dat I knew dat girls der use birthdays 2 extorts money</b></i>?. I mean..I thot those kind of stuffs happened 2 less privileged ppl and he was well aware dat I wasn't lacking..........idiota!<br />
Can u imagine dis man? *rolling my eyes*<br />
<br />
Wen I told him that I didn't even know dat was wat girls do there and that I remember telling him my birth date wen we 1st met, he said oh he thot I knew and wanted 2 play same game on him....see my life?? See d insult Emeka gave me??<br />
<b><i>Isn't it crazy</i></b>??<br />
Next thing I started typing all d insults imaginable and fired it at him. How dare he disrespect me in such a manner. I was more angry that he didn't even bother 2 explain all these to me d time I called and called and called 2 no avail..<i><b>Damn</b></i>! We cud have sorted it out and moved on. <i><b>Communication</b></i>!!<br />
He kept on apologising but oh well.<br />
<br />
In my mind I was thinking how we wud have been married by now with a kid or 2...but heyyyy....it just wasn't meant 2 b.<br />
<br />
He now has 2 very beautiful kids and guess what.. His wife is my dead-ringer.<br />
<br />
<i><b>SHE LOOKS JUST LIKE ME.</b></i>....<br />
<br /></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07642535202181822107noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4025087654063043212.post-74276896704040650892015-01-04T00:21:00.002-08:002015-01-04T00:21:40.811-08:00CHEATING<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
What I'm about 2 say is just like my 'secret Atheism-thing' and wud neva pass my lips. It will forever remain inside me.<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I'm well aware dat people cheat. I have never 4 once agreed to d fact dat a person shud get married and henceforth will only have SEX with dat one partner for eva and eva...NO!</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I understand it sounds like d right thing 2 do cos of vows and blah blah blah...but let's get real..why wud u want to live years and years without enjoying varieties b4 leaving dis earth?? Oh please!!... Just like I don't believe in judgement day or heaven or earth or wateva...der is no reward for abstinence abeg (neither is der 4 virginity).</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I always tell guys dat one of d worst things dey can do 2 me is CHEAT...If my spouse cheats on me, I will RAKE and RAISE HELL. I might even break a Plasma TV, crush his PS, windscreen or move in2 a 5 star hotel 4 a week for added effect (enjoying d buffet ofcos) but all dat na SHOW. On d outside, I want d man 2 believe I won't take such bullshit but cheating wudnt even make my heart skip, NOT ONE BIT!. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I wudnt walk out of a marriage just becos a guy put his dick in anoda pot ...cmonnnnn! Is it even remotely possible 2 b married 4 say 40yrs and not try other honeypots??..really??.. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
BUT if d 'dick- putting' extends 2 dat of a relative den dat I won't take 4 real but wen its a friend or colleague or whoever den 2 hell with him. This life is 2 short 4 stress abeg. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
The most important thing is dat d guy has a brain and a half 2 always protect himself during these escapades.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Wat will irk me d most is if my partner impregnates a bitch.. Oh hell nooooo.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Just like I said...dis remains with me and SHALL NOT PASS MY LIPS..imagine telling a guy I don't mind if he cheats..I'll just b shooting myself in d leg. So my lips r well sealed...</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I'm not saying I will cheat or none but if it so happens dat my partner cudnt control himself and cheating happens den I'll act accordingly....</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Till my next post..</div>
</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07642535202181822107noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4025087654063043212.post-33294094995099294672015-01-02T02:52:00.000-08:002015-01-02T02:52:08.963-08:00Attending weddings!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
HAPPY NEWYEAR guys.. May 2015 b more fruitfull than last year.<br />
<br />
Been a Busy Bee lately and it even gets busier...a lot of changes going on at work and all dat...Anywayzzzzz...<br />
<br />
I had abt 12 weddings to attend for d end of dis year, that's <i><b>Nov-Dec 2014</b></i>. Some
clashed and guess how many I attended... Wait 4 it.....<b><i>ONE!</i></b> <br />
Didn't
even attend that of my next-door neighbor whose ceremony venue was like <i><b>2
stone throws </b></i>away from my house. I just hid inside, <i>ordered Pizza and
wallowed in my own company</i>..<b><i>smh</i></b>...<br />
<br />
I buy <i><b>Aso ebi</b></i> oooo knowing fully
well I won't attend. I was supposed to attend one last Friday & Saturday... and another high
society one coming up 2moro but no attendance.<br />
I can't really
explain dis....maybe its d thought that I'll b attending all these weddings and
ppl glaring at me asking me <i><b></b></i><i><b>wen it'll b my turn or is it my shyness</b><b>??
Can't place a finger on it..a lot of times I don't understand myself... I
know dis attitude its not nice at all. </b></i><br />
<br />
2moro's wedding is of a friend who I
went 2 college with..<i><b>she is amazing</b></i>, she has sent my I.V and expecting me there. Can't I just lie that I was there and her mermaid gown <b><i>courtsy BBM
updates</i></b> was just <i><b>fabulous</b></i>! Then she'll say <i><b>''oh how come I didn't c u''</b></i> and
i'll say<i><b> 'oh how would u wen u were obviously having d time of your life...lol.'</b></i><br />
<br />
<i><b>I really need 2 snap out of dis, I don't like dis my attitude one bit. <br />At dis rate no1 wud even attend my own wedding. *sobs*...</b></i><br />
I
don't even have friends dat I wud use as bridesmaid...most r married and
not in d country..<i><b>anyway I never wanted a bridal train</b></i>... Just a <i><b>maid of
honour.</b></i> I'm not one 2 make fusses ...I wud like a nice quiet wedding with d
bulk of money spent on my <i><b>honeymoon</b></i>.. at least 3 destinations..<i><b>total
blissss.</b></i>...<br />
<br />
Till my next post....</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07642535202181822107noreply@blogger.com3