Wednesday, 25 February 2015

My 1st 'interview' experience......''The Americana''

I actually saw this one advertised in the 1st copy of the Guardian newspaper i'v ever bought in my entire life some weeks ago (I'm not a newspaper kinda girl)... It said something in the line of ''Customer service/Telemarkers earn a starting salary of 90k per month. No experience required as training will be provided...come with a copy of your CV and the address was stated with a telephone number''...(a begger really has no choice abi?)...
Now the Company name wasn't stated on the advert so I really had nothing to I called one of the numbers attached and a lady picked up. I asked for the company name and she hesitated before saying I should just come in the next day between 10-12pm...I requested the company's name again and she mumbled something I didn't hear. I sha didn't want to persist and just made up my mind to go see what it was all about since I have previous Customer Service and telemarketing job experiences from my part time jobs selling Double glazing in the University.

I picked out a nice top and skirt, polished my shoes, adjusted my CV to suit the position requested and reminded myself of the roles required for the position.

I woke up bright and early the next day and off I went, all the while crossing my fingers and hoping it wasn't a waste of my time.

Their office space was in some kind of Plaza outlet but everything seemed Ok on entering their allocation. I met about 6 other people seated and waiting for the same interview....I eyed my competitors and thought they gat nada on me babey! Nothing!
I signed in and seated 2 wait my turn. As I sat, I immediately caught sight of fresh thighs in front of me...they were that of the receptionist. This babe wore a gadamnnn mini skirt with some razz top and heels....I was embarrassed for her...obviously this company had no policy regarding appearance if this sight is supposed to represent a 1st impression for the company. Not only was her skirt way high above her knees but the make up and hair was story for another my invisible rating score board I marked the company 4/10 based off of 1st impression.

Anywayzzzz, it came my turn and I was shown in to a lady wearing about 16 bundles on full wavy human hair...must be a competition up in this joint mehn!!
So I immediately started selling my self as per person wey get plenty experience and needs no interview but an acceptance letter sharpily.....*slow down Realness...slowwww dowwnnnn now!

The lady with the fizzy hair explained that they are a Telemarketing company and blah blah blah....So basically...this job wasn't actually a was a training programme!! The company actually trains you to become a telemarker with a course that runs for 2 weeks after which you get a certificate and a 100% job guarantee in companies such as MTN, Glo...telecom companies sha..*yimu*
She kept on emphasizing on the fact that the company brings in 'American' expertraites to do the training and the 'Americans' will teach you how to speak with an American accent...buhahahahaa. chai! I immediately burst out laughing..I cudnt hold it in yoooo..she had a look like 'what is this bitch laughing at'? I calmed my self down and asked why a Nigerian company would want ppl with American accent manning their will an average Nigerian understand what da bloody hell I'm saying in a 'American accent'? If they wanted to teach an accent or shud probably be 'pidgin English or Igbo, Yoruba or Hausa' so that the common Nigerian will easily understand...lmaooooo. Of cos she had no answer for seriously? Was the 'American' this and that supposed to impress me? Was that their selling point?....ignorance!!!

The lady then turns her laptop for me to read through more info on the my mind I was like, what is it I have to read that you haven't told me already ehhhhh?...mmmmm...So I'm reading and reading and seeing numbers of trainees they've had and their success stories and what was actually right up my alley...just 2weeks training and a!

So I scroll down to the final page and BAM!!...the 'catch'...
See ehhh...I know there was no way in hell getting a job could be this easy...I was already settling my mind that patapata it wud be a marketing which I'll just say 'thank you' and walk away....I will make a terrible Marketer...I lack the patience for such and I can't imagine kissing filthy asses just 2 meet a target...hell, I can't even convince myself to do a lot of things not 2 talk of someone marketing was really a no no for sir! I digress....

So the last page had a fee ladies and gentlemen...N73,000 for 2 weeks training plus a certificate worth another N10,000 in order to be '100% guaranteed a job'
She must have noticed my expression which she must have been used to seeing by now on faces reacting to that 'last page' she quickly added that for today alone I'm only required to pay N43,000 as a promo that ends today...trained by 'Americans'......uuuhhh laaalaaa!!.....mayb she was expecting me 2 breathe a sigh of relief seeing as she just saved me a whooping 30k and 

So that wud be N53,000 (+10k certificate fee) as opposed to the initial 83k....*cue in 'jumping 4 joy' emoji*...yimuest!

Collecting money from an umemployed person instead of offering it.......

What did I decide 2 do next?
Oya wait I'll be back with a reply.....*snooze fest*....zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Till my next post.........


  1. Hello realness..
    Just thought to say hello to you.
    #hugs #iminthesameshoe #kindlysearchenoughfortwo #firsttimecommenting

    1. Welcome welcome Lauryn..good 2 have you here :D