Wednesday, 10 December 2014

How i lost my virginity

Losing my Virginity, V-card, Cherry or wateva was a HOT MESS.
I hear all dem soppy stories on how some ppl lost their virginity and the hooooos an haaaaaaas on the heavenly feel of the nyt. When I read or hear such, I'm like 'I must be different'. Ok let me tell u one thing dat will knock u out.
'The person dat disvirgined me wasn't even aware' lmao
My life, choi!
See ehh (lol, I know I like using this 'see ehh' a lot) I got disvirgined in my early 20s. I neva had sex in secondary school or Uni. I had my 1st Boyfriend in Uni but I didn't think it was ryt to lose the V abeg, not because I swore to celibacy or waiting till I get married. I just didn't FEEL it was ryt. My own decision oooo. After Uni, I started feeling different, infact there was this 'horniness' from somwr. I had to quench it somhow. I attended a birthday party and met this guy. He wasn't d finest of the bunch but he had d best personality (infact the guy no even fine facially). We clicked and kissed (just kiss ooo) dat nyt at a club we went to afterwards. We met up a couple of times sha and only kiss kiss we did. After abt a week or so, he invited me over 2 his place and I had to spend the night! BOOOM! I knew this was my opportunity to lose d V. Dis dude went to bed b4 me while I was watching TV. (I even cooked egusi soup for him dat day). By the time I got to bed, he was already asleep. I sharpily woke him up by caressing him. He awoke and d quaving (caressing) started, I noticed dis guy was a bit sloppy cos he was half asleep. Anyway, one thing led to anoda, I pulled off my clothes (by myself *roll my eyes*), he got on top of me sleepily, bumped and grinded (if dats d ryt word) for abt 1 min (no caressing at dis point). He 'came' and rolled back to sleep...*crickets*
My feelings while this was going on as per someone losing it for the 1st time was utter confusion. I was hoping for romance, kisses from my head to toe, sweet words whispered in my ears, going down south, fingering, etc. Let's just say, I was expecting to be blown away. Did I mention dat dis baga's PJ was still on during this torture? *tear*
After the ordeal, I was like, so dis is wat is supposed to quench my fire? Dis miserable act? Mstcheeeeew!
One thing I was curious abt was the 'BLOOD' dat was supsd to flow and signify dat I was now a badooooo, as in big girlz tinz. I ran to the loo to know if dat miserable bumping and grinding had enough motion to burst my hymen. I saw blood and smiled. I finally disvirgined myself all by MYSELF(dats just how it felt).
The reason why I said dis baga didn't even know he disvirgined me was cos we neva even talked abt whether I was a V or not prior to the act. He didn't even stand up to dispose of his supposedly bloody condom and clean up or even ask me if I felt pain or if I enjoyed it! *tear*. He didnt even behave like someone dat was given the honours of popping my precious cherry. Nigg* slept all thru d nyt (didn't even wake 2 take a leak). See my life?
That was the 1st and last time I had relations with that guy. I quickly turned the whole thing to just frnds till the friendship dissolved, no time abeg. Its been over at lease 5 years now and d dude neva once talked abt it at all.
PS- Am i just exaggerating? Does it really matter if he was aware or not? mmmmmmm


  1. Hahaha....Mami, some guys are that silly mehn...No hard feelings...buh damn!!!!! he didn't know?!?!...This is the first I am hearing of this mehn...

  2. hahhahahah!pele you don enter one chance.lolz,its one of those things shit happens

  3. Na wa for the guy o... Which kain sleep be that? Didn't he feel any resistance or sth?

  4. Same thing with me!:ehehhe I was claiming bad guy and the babe I first had sex with didn't even know I was a novice*all thanks to porn. Hehehe#coversface#

  5. Lol. Eze I see you. Chai!
    Your experiences are really funny Nessi
    Tibbsy mami, and you thought your experience of being disvirgined was weird. This one is something else....hehehe

  6. Lmao, its gud we can all laugh abt it now lol. Experiences ehhhh. Thanks for coming Tibs, Esther, Tosyne, Bolatito, Esther, Eze and White D. Appreciated. Mwahhhhhhhh!

  7. I can't fit to shout, what kind of lame ass guy does that? *insert jaw dropping smiley*
    My own first time sha, there was not blood but e pain me well oooo! See ba, d nigga wanted to turn me into porn star that day, no b person tell me. I walked funny for a couple of days after.
    Madam Blog owner, u don hook me sha, please keep the funny stories rolling in!

  8. My first time though! After we were done I was like sex is over rated mbok

  9. now not simplest the writing however also the creativeness power of creator of this blog is surely swish. Use of terminology seemed great as i'm also a creator but i'm not able to find out any mistakes after studying this text. blonde