Wednesday, 10 December 2014

How i lost my virginity

Losing my Virginity, V-card, Cherry or wateva was a HOT MESS.
I hear all dem soppy stories on how some ppl lost their virginity and the hooooos an haaaaaaas on the heavenly feel of the nyt. When I read or hear such, I'm like 'I must be different'. Ok let me tell u one thing dat will knock u out.
'The person dat disvirgined me wasn't even aware' lmao
My life, choi!
See ehh (lol, I know I like using this 'see ehh' a lot) I got disvirgined in my early 20s. I neva had sex in secondary school or Uni. I had my 1st Boyfriend in Uni but I didn't think it was ryt to lose the V abeg, not because I swore to celibacy or waiting till I get married. I just didn't FEEL it was ryt. My own decision oooo. After Uni, I started feeling different, infact there was this 'horniness' from somwr. I had to quench it somhow. I attended a birthday party and met this guy. He wasn't d finest of the bunch but he had d best personality (infact the guy no even fine facially). We clicked and kissed (just kiss ooo) dat nyt at a club we went to afterwards. We met up a couple of times sha and only kiss kiss we did. After abt a week or so, he invited me over 2 his place and I had to spend the night! BOOOM! I knew this was my opportunity to lose d V. Dis dude went to bed b4 me while I was watching TV. (I even cooked egusi soup for him dat day). By the time I got to bed, he was already asleep. I sharpily woke him up by caressing him. He awoke and d quaving (caressing) started, I noticed dis guy was a bit sloppy cos he was half asleep. Anyway, one thing led to anoda, I pulled off my clothes (by myself *roll my eyes*), he got on top of me sleepily, bumped and grinded (if dats d ryt word) for abt 1 min (no caressing at dis point). He 'came' and rolled back to sleep...*crickets*
My feelings while this was going on as per someone losing it for the 1st time was utter confusion. I was hoping for romance, kisses from my head to toe, sweet words whispered in my ears, going down south, fingering, etc. Let's just say, I was expecting to be blown away. Did I mention dat dis baga's PJ was still on during this torture? *tear*
After the ordeal, I was like, so dis is wat is supposed to quench my fire? Dis miserable act? Mstcheeeeew!
One thing I was curious abt was the 'BLOOD' dat was supsd to flow and signify dat I was now a badooooo, as in big girlz tinz. I ran to the loo to know if dat miserable bumping and grinding had enough motion to burst my hymen. I saw blood and smiled. I finally disvirgined myself all by MYSELF(dats just how it felt).
The reason why I said dis baga didn't even know he disvirgined me was cos we neva even talked abt whether I was a V or not prior to the act. He didn't even stand up to dispose of his supposedly bloody condom and clean up or even ask me if I felt pain or if I enjoyed it! *tear*. He didnt even behave like someone dat was given the honours of popping my precious cherry. Nigg* slept all thru d nyt (didn't even wake 2 take a leak). See my life?
That was the 1st and last time I had relations with that guy. I quickly turned the whole thing to just frnds till the friendship dissolved, no time abeg. Its been over at lease 5 years now and d dude neva once talked abt it at all.
THIS GUY DIDNT KNOW!! DAMN!!!
PS- Am i just exaggerating? Does it really matter if he was aware or not? mmmmmmm

9 comments:

  1. Hahaha....Mami, some guys are that silly mehn...No hard feelings...buh damn!!!!! he didn't know?!?!...This is the first I am hearing of this mehn...

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  2. hahhahahah!pele you don enter one chance.lolz,its one of those things shit happens

    bolateethole.blogspot.com

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  3. Na wa for the guy o... Which kain sleep be that? Didn't he feel any resistance or sth?

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  4. Same thing with me!:ehehhe I was claiming bad guy and the babe I first had sex with didn't even know I was a novice*all thanks to porn. Hehehe#coversface#

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  5. Lol. Eze I see you. Chai!
    Your experiences are really funny Nessi
    Tibbsy mami, and you thought your experience of being disvirgined was weird. This one is something else....hehehe

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  6. Lmao, its gud we can all laugh abt it now lol. Experiences ehhhh. Thanks for coming Tibs, Esther, Tosyne, Bolatito, Esther, Eze and White D. Appreciated. Mwahhhhhhhh!

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  7. I can't fit to shout, what kind of lame ass guy does that? *insert jaw dropping smiley*
    My own first time sha, there was not blood but e pain me well oooo! See ba, d nigga wanted to turn me into porn star that day, no b person tell me. I walked funny for a couple of days after.
    Madam Blog owner, u don hook me sha, please keep the funny stories rolling in!

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  8. My first time though! After we were done I was like sex is over rated mbok

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