Tuesday 6 January 2015

The one that got away... The most stupid breakup EVER!!.

During my service year (NYSC) I met dis guy.. Let's call him *Emeka..
Single...
Good looking.....
Good job....
Money in d bank....
O.K sex....
Nice house...
Gentleman....
Mature.....
Let's just say he was a perfect potential husband material..
Let me see...wat bad quality did Emeka have?...mmmmm...Waking up like 5am and watching CNN in d highest volume ever & he was a few inches shorter dan I am...but his good qualities greatly overshadowed his minor not-so-good-qualities...
Anyway...................
A friend introduced us and things were going smooth. Dis guy was well close to 40yrs old and showed all signs of settling down. He was so caring and generally treated me well. I cud sense he was looking for a wife and I responded accordingly. Going 2 his place was like being in a hotel.. Cook and Cleaner at my service.. BLISS...

Hold up...don't get carried away ....something always tends 2 spoil a lot of good and u won't even believe d stupid reason why things didn't work out.

Story story storrrrryyyyyy....

Emeka traveled one time and there was a delay in his coming back so wen we spoke one of those nights I told him how much I missed him and all dat lovey-dovey stuff..
I wanted him 2 hurry and come back so I said '' 2moro is my birthday so u have to come back and celebrate with me'' of cos it wasn't my birthday, I just missed him and wanted him 2 come quick.....

After that phone call, Emeka neva called me again and wen I called him he neva picked...I was dazed!! Almost like I was dreaming..how can sumthing so beautiful just fade away without an explanation??

U shud have seen how I cracked my brain analyzing, scrutinizing, rewinding and reviewing every word I said during our last conversation.
Wat cud have happened? I tried reading btwn d lines and re-reading texts and cudnt make out wat brought abt dis reaction from Emeka all in a blink of an eye.

I called and called and called and he wudnt even pick..SHIT! I didn't bother going 2 his place cos I don't do such..go 2 someone's place uninvited?..na so d thing dey scratch me reach? NO WAY!

Der was dis once he picked after so many days and said I shudnt call him again, I asked y and he wudnt say. Isn't dat so annoying?

My dear, dis was how dis guy ended everything just like dat and it hurts more wen u don't even know what happened or what u did. I was just clueless..

Fast forward years later and somehow somehow we got in contact again..By then he was married..very newly married, infact just a matter of months. We got chatting on BBM, one thing led 2 another and d issue of his breakup with me crept up.
This time Emeka decided 2 open up and tell me y he really called it off..

Wait 4 it guys..drum roll plsssss....................

The Negro Emeka said he called it off cos I LIED that d 'next day' of dat faithful phone call was my BIRTHDAY.........SHIT MEHN!!
I was like 'I'm sorry wat''?..
He said most girls in d city where we were den were fond of lying 2 guys abt their bdays so that guys will throw them several bday parties in a year and therefore extort money and gifts from these guys all in d name of parties..

 I was like..NIGGA wat?!!!... I cudnt believe wat i was reading...

See let me tell u something...wen I met Emeka, I was serving(NYSC) in that state and had been there  a few months for d 1st time ever in my life. I was an IJGB (I just got back) lol. I just got back in2 d country after a long stay abroad. Emeka was well aware of all these, he knew my Age, State of Origin, Residence, BIRTH DAY (which I told him a number of times). He also knew that I knew nobody in that state so where did he get d idea dat I knew dat girls der use birthdays 2 extorts money?. I mean..I thot those kind of stuffs happened 2 less privileged ppl and he was well aware dat I wasn't lacking..........idiota!
Can u imagine dis man? *rolling my eyes*

Wen I told him that I didn't even know dat was wat girls do there and that I remember telling him my birth date wen we 1st met, he said oh he thot I knew and wanted 2 play same game on him....see my life?? See d insult Emeka gave me??
Isn't it crazy??
Next thing I started typing all d insults imaginable and fired it at him. How dare he disrespect me in such a manner. I was more angry that he didn't even bother 2 explain all these to me d time I called and called and called 2 no avail..Damn! We cud have sorted it out and moved on. Communication!!
He kept on apologising but oh well.

In my mind I was thinking how we wud have been married by now with a kid or 2...but heyyyy....it just wasn't meant 2 b.

He now has 2 very beautiful kids and guess what.. His wife is my dead-ringer.

SHE LOOKS JUST LIKE ME.....

4 comments:

  1. Huh?!?!! Uhhhh I have missed this space....How are you doing mami...You are really doing a good job here mehnnn...I read your posts before I retire to bed...I love how you bare it all...Nice read mami...

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    1. Hey Tibs..I'm great, hope u r 2...tanx a lot 4 reading.

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  2. hahaha.. u see urself... hahaha..

    u would have not been cracking your head with Dan and Ken now.. lol

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    1. My dear.. I wud hav been on my third maternity leave by now sef. lol

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