Sunday, 14 December 2014


BOSS: My boss is a TIGER! Na she sabi wetin dey worry am! *mschtewwwww*. See ehh, dis woman is abt 5-5'2ft tall, doesn't weigh more dan 50kg and shud be abt 50yrs old. She is such a fire cracker, a horrible 1 at dat. This woman is so disrespectful and talks down on those old enuff 2 birth her twice over. Her volume is at its loudest wen her own bosses are in d office. Come and see showing off. *idiota*. She believes dat her bosses will b impressed once dey c her shouting instructions and stumping abt! *Smh*. The way she disrespects men ehh is story 4 anoda day. We in my department hav put her in our prayer so she can hurry up and marry so dat a man will use good knacking (sex) 2 calm her down (hopefully). Cuz it seems d problem is she isn't getting enough or any sex 4 dat matter. Mehnnnnn, dat woman is 2 hyper abegggg! One gud thing abt her is dat she knows her job, but she still needs 2 chill.

JOKER: There r 2 jokers but 1 of dem takes d cake. Dis guy is over 50yrs old but runs around like a spoilt kid thru out d 9hrs of work. Chai! He is either making jokes loudly or roaring with dat nasty laughter *yuck*. Dis man goes round d office one table at a time 2 taunt ppl. He makes frequent visits to my table and wen I sight him I start 'pretend-pinging' on my fone or I put on a str8 face with my eyes fixed on my monitor. Other times wen he catches me unawares, I hav no choice but 2 feign fake laughter (practised 2 perfection). Mehnn dis guy really wears me out. Y can't he just make jokes for 1 hour, I cud manage dat but 9hrs? Phewwwwwww! Exhausting. I gat work 2 do 2 u know?

PSYCHO: Dis one has multiple personalities. She picks unnecessary fights and brings up stuffs dat r unrelated 2 dat particular fight. She uses God a lot 2 argue her cases and she can go as far as swearing 4 u and ur generations and ancestors all in d name of argument. She can fight u now and still come 2 u for something in d next minute, aint dat a pyscho? (Iv neva had cause 2 pick a fight with her thou- can't b bothered).

NEIGHBOUR 1: I share an office with 2 ladies. Number 1 always speaks a borrowed language whether u understand it or not. She has refused 2 maintain office decorum and communicate in English 4 easy understanding. She is also a 'peeker'. She is always looking over at my monitor, drawing attention 2 wat I'm viewing. She wants 2 looks at pics wen I open a blog or read wateva it is I open *so annoying* y can't she just open it on her own PC and read? I really tire ooo! This one also hardly eva shuts up, always asking 1 question or d other (infact she can't handle a moment of silence which I love by d way).

NEIGBOUR 2: Dis one neva stops eating (I blame her 4 distracting my weightloss process *yimu 2 me lol). She weighs abt 200kg (I exaggerate.. lmao) and d 1st thing she does after greetings in d morning is 2 go around d office announcing dat she is hungry!! In my mind I'm like, dis woman no dey shame? And as she is doing these 'I'm hungry' rounds ppl will b 'yimuing' her and their response is always 'u still eat'? Lmao. She sef will laugh over it, imagine! She also blabs a lot and wants attention given 2 her immediately she needs it. *so tiring I swear*. She is also a gossip, she badmouths her supposedly close friends a lot but blames d 'gossipness' on d Office Psycho lmao.

MISS PERFECT: Turned 40yrs old dis year. Believes her slim figure and long hair is enuff 2 get a man, not just a man but d perfect man. See ehh, some ladies get 2 a certain age and lower der standard on d qualities of an ideal husband but dis babe is still waiting 4 Mr perfect. At such age, ill probably take wateva I find mehnnn. For example, I wud neva hav smelt sum1 like Ken but see wat age has done 2 me ehhh. Let's hope she wakes up from her slumber 1 day sha.

MY 'FRIEND': I get along with her cos she is d closest person 2 b on d same thinking page with me. We hav a lot in common and d gist flows very easily. Howeva, she is so loud its almost cringe-worthy. Her jokes are always animated and she giggles from morning till evening! pheewww! Wr do des ppl get der energy from?

ME: I'm easily pissed off. D ppl i share an office with piss me off, my boss 2 and I'm quick 2 anger which is very bad. But some days r happy days and I try 2 control myself and tolerate. Im really learning patience and tolerance in dealing with people. Wat irks me d most is dat my salary is nothing 2 write home abt. I think dats even d source of my anger. On d bright side, I hav a lot of office admirers, old ass men dat think dey hav a chance just cos I gist with dem and laugh over their flirtings. They can sha like 2 dream and jonzzzz. Even 1 of d top guys has sent an aid 2 tell me he is digging me lmao (gist for another day jorr lol)

P.S- I'll touch on d rest of d characters as time goes by.

PPS- its time 2 go cook d much awaited Sunday rice and stew with chicken and fish, yummmmmm! Till my next post....


  1. My supervisor is just like your boss.... We've concluded that she's prolly not having enough sex that's why she's forever cranky..... We're hoping to have a meeting with her husband so we can give him new positions to knack her from so that maybe she will calm down a bit

  2. Lol. Y'all are characters.
    I detest snoopers too.