Thursday, 18 December 2014

The 'Boyfriend' that stole my money!

I used 2 live abroad (can't mention wr exactly b4 all des monitoring spirits start der monitoring tinz).
D last guy I dated b4 my relocation stole my money...

Story story, storyyyyyyyyyyy...
I met *Kunle (not real name) abt 3 wks b4 my relocation 2 naija. It was sort of a blind date. 1st time we actually met after over d fone convo was an eye opener. Kunle dat I had been speaking 2 told me he was as tall as Usher (Usher is a midget but I didn't know dat at d time), d pics he showed me stretched him out, der4 looking deceptive! Kunle was actually very SHORT *crying*
I took a deep breathe and followed him inside after he took care of my cab. I decided not 2 let d height tin ruin dis so i looked beyond it and hoped 4 d best.
Kunle was by far 1 of the best boyfriends iv had till date. He was very kind, he treated me as a wife and introduced me as his girlfriend at any given opportunity. Days dat I spent d nyt in his place, he wud go 2 d naija grocery store by d corner and buy meat, cowleg, egusi, ugu, ogbono and d rest. As d 'wife' dat I was, I wud cook stew, soups and other orisirisi. He praised me a lot and complimented me. Even wen his friends came around dey will eat and praise my cooking. Chai!! Those guys can like 2 swell person head ehhhh...
As we know, a lot of guys whether naija or not participate in a lot of Credit Card Runs (I'm assuming we all know wat CCR means). I had very good credit history so Kunle asked me 2 give him my account number, password, sort code and my ATM card wen I'm done emptying my account for my relocation. I didn't even blink, I agreed 2 do so wen all is sorted. He said one of his friends needed an account since he wasnt authorised to open one (Immigration tinz). It was definitely CCR dey wanted 2 do but I didn't mind cos I didn't need d account anyway (mumu me).

Here's d koko..
I had already resigned from work prior 2 my relocation and my remaining settlement money from my job was suppsd 2 enter my account abt 2 weeks after my dapature date. So I asked Kunle who had my account details 2 simply help me withdraw MY money and send it 2 me via western union (I trusted dis guy very much) and he agreed. D money was abt 200k wen converted 2 naira.
Wen I landed naija, we kept on communicating, infact we wr still dating as long distance. We wud even occasionally hav fone sex (sorry, I know dat was way 2 much information but I want u guys 2 understand d extent of our relationship). There was even a time wen I needed my transcript DHL'd 2 naija and Kunle handled d payment and everything without much asking, so I trusted dis guy very much.
I knew immediately my money entered my account cos of internet banking. I called him 2 tell him so he cud do d transfer. An hour or so later, I checked my account again and half of d money had bn withdrawn. No shaking! Called Kunle and he said his friend dat is now using my account withdrew it thinking it was the money he was expecting and he was going 2 pay back ASAP...mmmmm.
I waited...

Almost everyday I wud call Kunle 2 remind him abt d money and wen he was going 2 send it, he wud say very soon.
'Very soon' turned 2 weeks...
Weeks passed and I stopped hearing from him, he wudnt pick my calls either (I was so nervous at dis point). Chai..I almost so my hard earned money go just vanish?
A couple of months in2 dis and I was still calling everyday. One day he finally picked my call and said I shud neva call him again dat my Nigerian BF (whoeva dat was) had bn calling his fone 2 threaten him 2 leave me alone. IMAGINE!! Me dat hadn't even started dating again cos I was still assuming I and Kunle were still dating. I saw something fly past my eyes wen he said dat and it finally dawned on me dat Kunle was neva going 2 transfer dis money. He had 2 make up an excuse 4 me 2 stop disturbing him. I wanted 2 swear for him and his generation but something held my tongue. Dat was how I didnt hear from KUNLE again oooooo and my 200k dissappeared!!

Till date, dat incident bites me ehhh and I believe deep in my heart dat one day I will come face 2 face with Kunle and we will hav a physical combat I swear. Whether its 10 or 100yrs from now, I MUST collect my money. Infact, ll pass dis info down 2 my generations 2 come. That 200k must hav yielded so much interest by now and I'm losing out big time.*Rme*...



  1. Hahahahhahahaha...silly Kunle
    This rily cracked me up I swear..nice one!!!
    I hope u meet Kunle soon and collect ur 200k wiv interest....

  2. Lmao
    Pass it down to your generation no be small. Goodluck on your next meeting

  3. Lmao
    Pass it down to your generation no be small. Goodluck on your next meeting

    1. *hehehehehe* I join white diamond to wish you goodluck.

  4. Your money don enter voice mail bae