Monday, 22 December 2014


Iv dated quite a number of guys. Some lasting from 1 nyt, some months. Iv met a lot of characters ehhhhh chai!!. I'll tell u abt 2 of dem..

 Story story storrrrryyyyy...
A guy friend of mine thought 2 hook me up wif his friend who was looking 4 a wife. Isn't it annoying wen sum1 newly gets married and suddenly has 10000001 suitors 4 u. I call dem 'Olodos'. How come those friends weren't there 2 hook me up with wen u were single?? Rme.
 Anywayzz, I agreed 2 meet up with d guy at an eatery during my lunch break. I got der b4 he did. Let me tell u i was utterly disappointed in his appearance I made a mental note 2 give dat nonsense friend of mine a fat punch in d nose wen next we see. Guy looked like Bart Simpson with a dry chest. As d nice girl dat I beliv I am, I decided 2 c wat more der was. He asked wat I wanted 2 eat and I said salad. Oh boy...u shud hav seen d look of disgust on dis Negroid's face as if I said I wanted a bucket of fat. He replied 'u shudnt be eating dat' eyeing me at d same time as if 2 say, 'so dis whale still eats'. Imagine d fool! He ordered rice, as if rice isn't more calorific dan a freaking salad mstchewwwww!!!. I didn't even wait 4 d salad or rice 2 come b4 I made my exit. I told him I had 2 get back 2 work. He sensed dat something was wrong and started acting nice. I jejely stood up and left. He called and professed love but I just ignored. He wud constantly call 2 ask if he did something wrong during our one and only date and I wud simply say I'm not interested. How can u meet a beautiful lady 4 d 1st time and start trying 2 control wat she eats? Abegi!!.. I neva saw him again after dat. Nonsense!

So one day on my way back from work, a guy in a nice ride stopped 2 talk 2 me. I stopped cos of d ride sha. He introduced himself and he was from Sierra Leone. He asked 4 my number and begged 2 call me later.. Meanwhile dis guy was in his car during dis entire exchange. D next day, he came with a friend 2 pick me up and we went 2 a pub. Let me emphasize on d fact that i do not like going on dates, esp 1st dates and d guy comes with a friend or friends... so annoying...
 BOOOOOM!!...d shocker... Dis guy stepped out of d car 4 d first time and he was half my height with a LIMP! ..SHIT mehn!!! While in d car, I sat behind while his friend was in d passenger seat so I didn't notice his midget legs. I kind of have a phobia 4 short guys. This one was even shorter than KUNLE! I immediately felt nauseous, something stopped me in my tracks and like film trick I reached 4 my phone and pretended 2 read a text. 'Oh' I said, 'my sis just text me and said she forgot her house keys at work and needs me 2 come open d door 4 her' I also said I'll find my way back afterwards. BIG LIE! The guy sensed something was wrong and suggested 2 take me home 2 give my sis d key and drive back 2 d Pub.. I literally screamed NO! I didn't know what kind of spirit led me, I turned around and walked away. I hailed a cab and quietly went home.
After that date, I promised myself never 2 pay attention 2 a guy toasting me while seated in a car. I always ask guys 2 park well and step down if they want 2 speak 2 me o jare, no time 4 scary surprises.

Till my next post...


  1. Lol @ d midget... I love ur posts!! Keep it coming

  2. I hate dates too especially first dates... there's so much pressure to be almost perfect while looking out constantly for the flaws in your date

  3. Uhhhhh...Some awkward situation you had there mami.....**wipes sweat**

  4. Lmao!
    The second one was very funny.
    Tell him to step down if he wants to talk,makes sense finally. Lol